Nawaz Sharif, the three times former prime minister of Pakistan, and now a convict on bail receiving medical treatment in London, and former president Asif Zardari, who is also on a health-based bail, and their teams are meeting on video link to strategize over obtaining health-based bails for themselves and their party members.
Sharif’s brother, former Punjab chief minister Shehbaz Sharif, and former finance minister and his younger daughter’s father-in-law, Ishaq Dar in London, assist Nawaz. Also present are visiting former minister for planning development and reform Ahsan Iqbal, former information minister Maryam Aurangzeb and former defense minister, Khawaja Asif.
In Karachi, former ambassador Sherry Rehman, spokesperson Farhatullah Babar, former Punjab governor and counsel Khalif Latif Khosa, and senator Raza Rabbani are assisting Zardari.
Nawaz Sharif starts the conversation, “My dear brother Asif you are certainly and immensely wonderful. It is for no reason that Majid Nizami (editor of Nawai-Waqt) called you a Murd-e Hur (Fearless Man).
“Yes, you were in hospital, but did you see how Imran Khan was hinting that it will be investigated whether the sight of plane improved my health condition or the London environment…”
Zardari interjects, “Never mind what Imran says. You are the hero who got bails without signing even penny’s worth of bond…”
Nawaz continues, “No my brother Asif, you are the greater tactician. It was inspiring to see you being wheeled out of the Pakistan Institute of Medical Sciences hospital in Islamabad. [And adds while guffawing] Now let see what Imran has to say about this.
“My dear brother, it is time… I would say high time that we train all our parties’ leadership about getting free on bail.
“Absolutely, my dear brother, Asif, you will be chief instructor at our academy.
“Oh, my dear brother, what should we call our academy?”
Sherry Rehman, takes permission from her ultimate leader, Zardari, and responds, “Most respected prime minister, your proposal for starting an academy is excellent, even if crazies like Imran Khan emerge in decades and start railing against politicians making money. I would suggest calling it, Academy for Freedom from Restraints Against Corruption.”
Nawaz Sharif raises his fists and declares, “My dear brother Asif, our sister Sherry is a genius! Gems surround you. Prosperous leaders mean a prosperous Pakistan.
“I would say that let us start now! You can instruct your [former petroleum minister] Dr. Asim Hussain to let us use his Ziauddin Hospitals for the hands on sessions like looking seriously ill, like handling crutches as if one is dying and other convincing actions.
“You know that I am not coming back till Imran Khan is there. My brilliant physician Adnan Khan did a marvelous job with the platelets reports, and he is going further ahead to give authenticity to my going to America … to the Massachusetts General Hospital for treatment of blocked carotid artery. He will be sending a report to the Lahore High Court … may God bless justice Ali Baqir Najafi… yes, he even granted to bail to [daughter] Maryam… that endarterectomy or carotid angioplasty can only be done at the Massachusetts General… and Najafi, our good man, will say fine!”
Zardari adds, “Yes my dear Nawaz, I too need to go to France and America to take a look at my properties. You know even the most trusted servants need supervision.”
Nawaz adds, “Indeed, you are right. I know… I know. Even though, Hasaan and Hussain are my sons, but I come and look at our London properties…”
Dar quickly supplements, “You are right. Looking at your properties revives you.”
Zardari continues, “So it is a done deal, you can select the first batch of trainees and they can join our batch to begin the training…”
Nawaz offers, “Splendid. Thank you for agreeing to my proposal. I am thinking that after America, I will get Dr. Adnan Khan to announce an illness that can only be treated in Geneva… you know one needs to personally check the bank accounts too.”
Zardar offers, “Perfect, my dear brother. I am thinking of starting from France. Dr. Asim Hussain can prescribe my being in an ICU in my 16th century Chateaux de la Reine Blanche, which you know is in the hamlet of Mesnil-Lieubray, near the city of Rouen in Normandy, northern France.”
Nawaz quickly adds, “In fact, because Imran is pursuing cases against us, all our treatment should be at government of Pakistan’s expense. Yes… I am right…”
Zaradri joins Nawaz Sharif in chorus, “Pakistani treasury is ours to love and spend.”