Israel Wins When Everyone Else Loses

Izzy Snoutstein, founder and chairman of the Snoustein Pyramids Financials, and president of the Zionists Union, and Alf Lyzardberg, chairman of the American Fund for Israel Expansion, are dinning at the Star of Zion restaurant on Z Street in Washington, D.C.

The topic of discussion is opportunities for Israel in the light of the Trump administration’s decision to impose sanctions on countries that buy Iranian oil.

“Izzy,” declared Lyzardberg, raising his glass of Cabernet Sauvignon from the Golan Heights Winery, “Donald J. Trump is the best thing to happen to Israel besides T.E. Lawrence. I say that we start lobbying to get an exception in the Twenty-Second Amendment to have Trump beyond his second term in 2024.

“This latest grand move to end exemptions from sanctions for countries still buying oil from Iran is the masterstroke for Israel. This is Trump’s thank you gift to the people of Israel and all Jews for reelecting Netanyahu.”

Snoutstein, returning the favor, tinkles his glass, and offers, “Alf, no doubt about it, Trump shines! But much credit is also due to T.E. Lawrence. He is also a hero of Israel. His creation of the Gulf states are humanity’s most valuable gift to Israel.

“Imagine, if these states were not there, would anyone touch Iranian oil! It is this gift of Lawrence that Trump got assurances from Saudi Arabia and UAE that they will increase their production to make for the Iranian losses.

“And Snoutstein Pyramids is going to invest in oil storage ventures. Everyone who has oil reserves is going to win.”

Lyzardberg suggests, “Izzy, I would also invest in the arms market. Trump’s announcement primarily impacts Iranian oil importers including China, India, Japan, South Korea and Turkey. I tell you, India will come begging to buy our beautiful weapons so Trump can look aside when they buy Iranian oil.”

Snoutstein, drumming his refilled glass, stresses, “No way… no way. Not a penny… Iran must starve. I tell you, when Trump orders, if needed both MBS (Saudi crown prince Mohammad Bin Salman) and MBZ (UAE crown prince Mohammad Bin Zaid) will ration oil in their own countries to meet India’s demand for oil.

“When our goal is near, why should we hesitate? Iraq done, Syria done, Libya gone… only Iran remains to be kicked out of existence. Israel rules!

“Alf, I am dedicating all my profits from investments in oil storage to AIPAC. They are going to keep a lid on all waivers. Every American in public life knows only what is good for Israel is good for them. Of course, ask [Rep. Ilhan] Omar.

“I will say that AIPAC should get Trump to do a Juan Guaido with Iran. Just like as he accepts him as president of Venezuela in parallel to Nicolas Maduro, we should recognize Reza Pahlavi, the heir apparent (son of Mohammad Reza Pahlavi) as Iran’s legitimate emperor.”

Lyzardberg, who can’t control his excitement, gives a high five and offers, “Izzy, you have it. I bet, [U.S. National Security Advisor John] Bolton can get it done.

“[Movie producer Steven] Spielberg can get a set prepared and we can have Reza crowning himself emperor of Iran, all the while sitting in Hollywood.

“Izzy, I tell you Americans won’t bat an eye about rising prices because they are coming at a time when they are relatively well positioned to handle them. And God bless, [prince] Harry and Meghan for their coming baby. Murdoch can get his media drumming up the royal baby’s arrival so there is nothing else for Americans to talk about.

“Izzy, I say much more powerful than the baby, will be the Queen dying. Imagine, the entire America glued to TV watching the Queen’s funeral, the entire America expressing its unbelief that a divorcee is becoming the queen alongside Chuck… don’t we call Charles that here.

“Indeed God did get Trump elected to make Israel the greatest forever. The way he closed the Jerusalem case… the Golan Heights issue… the West Bank is being made history… ah Gaza… it’ll be gone sooner than we can imagine.

“America is great again. Israel wins when everyone else loses.”

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