Real Leaders Like the Bhuttos, Zardaris and Sharifs Deserve Only the Best of British Care

Hamid Mir of Geo News has invited Marvi Sirmed, special correspondent of the Daily Times, Shehzad Khanzada, anchor of Geo News’ program “Aaj Shahzeb Khanzada kay Sath,” Mansoor Ali Khan of Express News and Mehr Bukhari of NewsEye, to discuss the Pakistani situation as clouds of war still hover above.

Before Hamid, the host of the program, could even utter a word, Sirmed jumps in screaming, “I condemn [finance minister] Asad Umer. It is despicable to call Bilawal by his father’s name. Imran Khan should impart a little training to his people. Imagine calling someone by his father’s name.”

Mir, finally finding space, offers the program’s agenda, “Today, we will be discussing the callous attitude being adopted by Imran Khan and his protégés toward the three times former prime minister, Mian Nawaz Sharif, and the dynamic statesman of our country, Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, chairman of the Pakistan Peoples Party.

“I draw your attention to the appeal to us, the media people, made my our former president Asif Ali Zardari, early last month, that if we support him in toppling the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf government, in return he would help us overcome the media industry’s problems.”

Khanzada quickly adds, “Yes, these sacred words are etched in my heart and soul. Let us also recall that on the same day, the great statesman of Pakistan, the PPP chairman Bilawal Bhutto Zardari asked for our help in the war against the judiciary in exchange for their support to our struggle for freedom of expression against Imran Khan’s set up.”

Sirmed offers, “This horrendous campaign against Bilawal BHUTTO Zardari is a deliberate psychological torture of the true heir of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and Benazir Bhutto. They are forcing upon him the Zardari name, when they know that Zardari is a father that he can’t own.”

Bukhari adds, “We can always trust Asif Zardari, he always repays for loyalty.”

Sirmed thunders, “And Asif Zardari has the mettle of a true leader. You all may recall that in 2013, some people declaring that they were Benazir Bhutto loyalists launched an attempt to wrest control of her party from Asif. He made them history.

“Imran is despicable and Asad Umar is a horror. Hamid, it is your show, so I can’t say a few appropriate words for them. Don’t they know that Benazir never called herself a Zardari… always the Bhutto that she was.”

Mir confides, “I have asked a few specialists that due to the trauma caused by being called a Zardari, our Bilawal Bhutto Zardari is suffering from a illness called
extrema motus colitis, which they roughly translated as extreme emotional colitis, and known among professional circles as EMC.”

Sirmed snaps, “Hamid, is that bad. I should say that Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, in his capacity of being chair of parliamentary human rights committee should summon both Imran and Asad for violating his human rights by calling him a Zardari, when the world knows that when you mention the name Zardari, the word corruption immediately comes to mind.”

Mir continues, “Marvi you are right. The doctors tell me that Bilawal Bhutto Zardari’s EMC is quite high and they recommend that he should be airlifted to the Broadmoor Hospital, which is a high-security British psychiatric hospital.”

Khanzada intervenes, “Indeed Bilawal Bhutto is a seasoned statesman. Did you see his perfect English? Marvi is doing a fantastic job on Twitter thrashing the Imran Khan team.

“Besides this ill-advised problem created by this government, we also have the suffering being faced by our three times prime minister, Nawaz Sharif.

“I know all the meaningless things being said about him, but he knows what is 5-star service.”

Bukhari quickly adds, “This government is not showing any concern that this man is dying. They must realize Nawaz Sharif was hoping that bail would be granted by the Supreme Court, and he would see his doctors in London who have his complete medical history.”

Mir continues, “Imran is playing politics with Nawaz Sharif’s health. First he was taken from hospital to hospital, now he has been provided with immediate resuscitation and life saving unit, which is present at the jail twenty-four hours.

“You know when Nawaz Sharif was prime minister, he took me along on one of his overseas trips, and on board he told me that his life mission was building bus lines and train lines and not hospitals or schools in the country. So who knows better than him that there are no hospitals that can treat him in Pakistan.

“I have been told by doctors that a person like Nawaz Sharif who has been prime minister three times and started as Punjab finance minister and then was chief minister two times, and had open access to accumulating the benefits of power, so he is suffering from a disease called extremae egestatis syndrome. The doctors translated it as extreme deprivation syndrome, which also called EES. In fact, it may be purely coincidence, but the doctors recommended that Mian Nawaz Sharif should also be immediately airlifted to the Broadmoor Hospital, which, I just mentioned is a high-security British psychiatric hospital.”

As the producer signals that the program is concluding, Sirmed chimes, “Hamid, may you be rewarded for showing so much concern for the health of our real leaders. Real leaders like the Bhuttos, Zardaris and Sharifs deserve only the best of British care.”

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