Asif Zardari has invited Marvi Sirmed, special correspondent of the Daily Times, Shehzad Khanzada, anchor of GEO News’ program “Aaj Shahzeb Khanzada kay sath,” and, Mehr Bukhari of NewsEye — journalists who favor him, his progeny, his party and its leadership, to Zardari House at 19, F-8 in Islamabad.
As usual, Zardari has his overloaded ashtrays in front, and his glass of Chivas Regal getting refilled regularly.
Also present are his children, Bilawal, Bakhtawar, and Aseefa.
Zardari, with his trademark smirk, offers thanks to the three for their spectacular criticism of finance minister Asad Umar who had the temerity to remind Bilawal that his real and registered name is Zardari.
Zardari declares, “Marvi, you are the hero of the times. No one could bash this Asad Umar like you did. Yes, absolutely awful, a grown man harassing my innocent son. Even though, the now retired Supreme Court chief justice Mian Saqib Nisar was unkind to me a few times, but he declared that Bilawal is an innocent child. Bilawal has left of joys of London and Dubai to reclaim the Bhutto heritage.”
Sirmed quickly bows her head, and adds, “O my beloved leader, the one who was prince consort of our beloved martyr, Benazir Bhutto, I am most grateful for your appreciation. I am your foot soldier, you handmaiden, your wish is my command.”
Zardari, renewing his smirk, turns his face toward Sirmed in appreciation.
Khanzada, waiting to offer his allegiance, quickly adds, “Your excellency, as everyone knows in the country and all over the globe that you are the supreme master. Indeed it was the smartest move that you added ‘Bhutto’ to your children’s names. Indeed, your party is holding on to Sindh in the name of Bhutto and not Zardari.
“Your excellency, no doubt, no one can match Marvi in her love for your family, but I assure that I will stop using the Zardari name with your children. In fact, I will remind all journalists to do the same. God willing in a short while, people will start accepting them as Bilawal Bhutto, Bakhtawar Bhutto and Aseefa Bhutto.”
Bilawal, swiftly signals to his father and upon receiving permission to talk, adds, “I tell you both of them are envious. This is why the finance minister attacked me. Neither Asad Umar nor Imran Khan’s father have anything to do what their sons have achieved. Period.”
Bukhari offers, “It is shameful that in the 21st century, someone, I mean, a once well regarded person, Asad took issue with your English. Shameful!”
Zardari speaks again, “I am proud of all of you and may the everlasting Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and Benazir Bhutto bless you for your love and devotion for the true and genuine scions of the House of Bhutto.
“You have to keep correcting the misperceptions among the people. Asad’s abhorrent speech has affected a few minds. I am being told that some are asking that mothers can be given respect by doing honorable work in their name, and not by taking their name for votes or invoking their tribulations to hide from accountability.
“This is simply unacceptable. Are my children destined to work! God forbid. The Bhutto name is our exclusive property… our exclusive asset. God be praised that He has removed all obstacles from the paths of my children. God be praised… yes, I have sacrificed enough black goats in His name to earn such favors. God be praised, the only danger they could have faced has melted, Murtaza’s [Bhutto] son is in America making a career in dance and music. Fatima [Bhutto] is too absorbed in writing.”
Sirmed quickly adds, “May God bless your children for keeping the name of Bhutto alive.”
Aseefa murmurs audibly, “But Bhutto is always alive! And we should remind everyone that our names were not changed secretly but our Baba held a press conference and announced it loud and clear.”
Zardari takes over, “I mean Asad Umar’s speech was very troublesome. After hearing him, people are questioning my children. They are even saying that one doesn’t get to use the word, achievement, when your only achievement in life is getting 280 characters on twitter before the most users.”
Sirmed angrily states, “Your excellency, they may call you anything but you are our president. I tell you all these derogatory remarks are an outcome of jealousy. They are jealous that they were not born a Bhutto; not even their leader, Imran Khan was born a Bhutto!
“Mr. President, most shamefully, Asad Umar questioned our beloved Bilawal being a Bhutto on the eve of the International Women Day that celebrated womanhood, which was only highlighted by our beloved martyr Benazir Bhutto.”
Zardari signals a wave of blessing and declares, “May God bless you, Marvi, indeed, my children are born for a special mission, the birthright of ruling Pakistan. Their destiny is to be the rulers of Pakistan.
“Their mother did not sacrifice herself for nothing. Their destiny is to protect and to indeed to enlarge the international portfolio that I have assembled. It is their pride… their heirloom. They are Bhutto. They are an icon of virtue.”