House of Representatives Speaker Nancy Pelosi, bothered by an onset of enhanced physiologic tremor like symptoms asked the Office of Attending Physician (OAP), which serves the members’ medical needs, to send her a wheelchair.
She had asked her secretary to urgently summon the entire House Democratic leadership team, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, Majority Whip James E. Clyburn, Assistant Speaker Ben Ray Luján, Caucus Chairman Hakeem Jeffries, Caucus Vice Chair Katherine Clark and House foreign affairs committee chair Rep. Eliot Engel to discuss the situation arising out of the Rep. Ilhan Omar’s (D- Minn.) use of anti-Semitic tropes in a tweet.
Lo and behind a convoy of wheelchairs entered her office because all of her invitees have experienced similar symptoms after learning about Omar’s tweet.
At their sight, the exasperated speaker, third in line of American succession, should the president and vice president become unable to run the government, declares, “O God, everyone! When did you get the tremors? My tremors started the moment I heard about this horrific tweet. Oh God, it looks like I am running a preschool daycare and not the House of Representatives of the United States.”
Engel, angrily shouts, “Nancy, you and you alone created this… Weren’t the Saudis imploring us not to put her there? Nancy you know that the Saudis have 29 firms and individuals on their payroll. It was just not one solitary call that you can say that you missed, if they were calling me, they must be calling you too. Yes, yes, to some liberal ears, her moralization over Trump’s support for their war on Yemen may have sounded sweet, but these girls are a danger to all of us… even if you momentarily don’t think about this scarf girl’s anti-Semitism, her opposition to selling arms to the Saudis is horrific too. [Israeli prime minister] Benjamin [Netanyahu] has told me so many times that what Saudi… I mean the crown prince, MBS [Mohammad Bin Salman], means to him. And Nancy, do you know, not just my Democratic committee members… I mean Abigail [Spanberger – D. Va.)… you know, like me, how devoted she is to Israel… but also all the Republican members were driving me nuts.
“Now this scarf girl hits at our AIPAC [America Israel Public Affairs Committee]… You are saying that she apologized. No. Are you serious? Did you read what she said… ‘I expect people to hear me when others attack me for my identity’. She has the audacity to consider that God’s Chosen People are equal to hers… I mean those Mozlems. No! No! No!”
Clyburn adds, “Nancy, did you see that swarm of post-it notes on this Omar’s door? They aren’t those pre-Valentine post-it notes; these are post-its of support appreciating her; encouraging her. Nancy, you should ask the Sergeant at Arms [the House chief law enforcement] to secure all these post-its and get a handwriting expert to trace them. They too should apologize for supporting an anti-Semite.”
A cornered Pelosi quickly crosses herself and whimpers, “Guys I told you that I feel like I am running a preschool daycare. I thought that AOC [Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY)] was more than a handful. And now comes Ilhan… O God.”
An agitated Hoyer, trying to steady his trembling legs and hands, states, “Nancy, does this girl knows English? Certainly, she doesn’t know how to apologize to Israel. Is this an apology. Look what she said… ‘I reaffirm the problematic role lobbyists in our politics, whether it be AIPAC, the NRA or the fossil fuel industry. It’s gone on too long and we must be willing to address it.’
“Nancy what sort of an apology is this where you dis the pillars of our great American democracy!”
Engel regains his speech a trifle, although his head is still trembling, “You all have read my statement on our committee’s website. You have to tell her that she includes in her apology my words, which I will read to you [with trembling fingers, he holds a piece of paper] ‘I will ensure support for Israel remains strong and bipartisan and I will shine a light on the evil of anti-Semitism and the danger it poses. I will make the case to Members on both side of the aisle that our alliance and friendship with Israel are important to our countries’ shared interests, security, and values. This has always been the basis of the U.S.-Israel relationship, and it’s the reason why members on both sides have been strong supporters of that relationship’.”
Pelosi, who is trembling all over, offers, “I asked three of the physicians who are our [House] colleagues Neal Dunn [MD, D-Fla.] and Roger Marshall [MD, R-Kan.] about my tremors. Perhaps you all have the same cause. They said that onset of enhanced physiologic tremor was caused by the horrific shock and anxiety caused by Omar’s tweet… I mean anti-Semitic tweet.
“You know [Judiciary Chairman Rep. Jerold Nadler [D-N.Y.] issued his statement that Ilhan’s deeply hurtful and offensive originate from old tropes born of hate-filled texts like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
“God bless Chelsea [Clinton] met with Ilhan, but I mean even while agreeing to meet with her, she asks her to join her in building an inclusive movement for justice.
“O God, how to drill into her hijab-clad head that America is a Judeo-Christian country and you cannot ask AIPAC to stop nurturing us.”
Engel, who can’t control his trembling head, offers, “Nancy, these Ilhan people cannot understand the Jewish suffering. The lesson is that all who are vying for political office in America must be vetted for their loyalty to Israel.”