Call us Zardari or Bhutto but we are the Immaculate Creation above Law. Period.

The Pakistan People Party (PPP) media cell has arranged the appearance of their chairman Bilawal Bhutto Zardari on Jirga With Saleem Safi — the person with unquestionable anti-Imran Khan credentials.

PPP spokesperson Sen. Mustafa Nawaz Khokhar and information secretary Dr. Nafisa Shah‏ have arranged that they will be using Romanized Urdu cue cards to help their leader to respond to the pre-agreed questions.

Safi’s first question is what Bilawal thinks about Imran Khan’s stance that the war on terror is an imposed war, and not Pakistan’s choice.

Bilawal, with eyes on the cue card, declares, “I want to assure President Trump and Prime Minister Theresa May… by the way, Auntie Theresa and my mother, the immortal martyr, Benazir Bhutto were close friends at Oxford!

“I want to assure both, President Trump and Prime Minister May that if I was the prime minister, I would never have disowned our war on terror… I mean their war of terror… the war gifted by President George W. Bush. Our party stands with President Trump… with Prime Minister May… you are source of our being… President Trump, let me remind you that it was an American president… a president from your Republican Party… Bush, who obliged [General and former president] Musharraf… yes, the same Musharraf who murdered my mother, to grant the NRO [National Reconciliation Ordinance] pardon to my mother and my father, President Zardari.

“How can I… how can my father… how can my aunt [Faryal Talpur] forget that favor.

“Yes, this war that was gifted to Pakistan is our war of terror!”

Safi offers the second question about information minister Fawad Chaudhury upsetting opposition leaders when he mentions the words ‘thieves’ and ‘criminals’ on the floors of Senate and National Assembly.

The new cue card comes up and Bilawal continues, “Saleem Safi, I am glad that you asked about this ruffian… Fawad is despicable. He acts as if he is innocent, but he knows that when he talks of thieves and criminals, he is talking about my father… he is talking my uncles, our party leaders. This is simply very hurtful. I will and my party will hold him responsible for any mental stress and its related ills because all this mention of the two words, ‘thieves’ and ‘criminals’ causes extreme palpitations, not only in my father’s hearts and the hearts of and party leaders, but also in the hearts of Uncle Nawaz Sharif, his family, and his party leaders.

“Saleem Safi, this is not all. You know that chief justice Saqib Nisar… yes, the man who has created this irrigation dams halo over himself… has established this JIT [Joint Investigation Team] against my father and aunt… yes, this JIT has even dragged me into this case. You know, that I am an obedient and thankful child. I never ask my father where and how money is coming into my accounts and portfolios. And course you know that my father has caused happiness to so many poor people by opening multibillion rupee accounts in their names.

“Saleem Safi, why is there so much mention of these accounts on various talk shows and in media outlets! All this is clearly being done with an agenda to malign our party, our leadership and to create a negative image in the minds of the public.

“You know how Imran Khan stole our party’s trademark slogan of providing people with roti, kapra, aur makan [food, clothing, and shelter] by launching his homeless shelters program and in the meantime providing them tents and food.

“We have to save the country with the ideologies of Benazir Bhutto and Zulfikar Bhutto, and the genius of my father Asif Ali Zardari and my aunt, Faryal Talpur.”

Safi reads the next question about what Bilawal thinks about the first 100 Days of the Imran Administration.

Dr. Nafisa Shah hoists her cue cards, “I am asking Khan Sahib that after 100 days where are the 10 million people who got jobs and where the 5 million who were given houses?

“Khan Sahib, as I said earlier, you stole our slogan. You are talking about household food security for the poor. Now more than 100 Days have passed, so where are all the children who have been fed, where are those who are not hungry and where are all the prosperous farmers?

“Saleem Safi, our party has given real leaders to Sindh… yes guided by my father… we have enlightened leaders like [former chief minister] Qaim Ali Shah… today, we have chief minister Murad Ali Shah… look at the beautiful ways, he is stalling the JIT’s progress! Unmatchable!

“You have to ask if Imran government’s 100 days are better than the 30 years of our government in Sindh, where everyday children die because of poor health facilities and want of food.

“I demand that the chief justice take notice of the media trial of our leadership… this should be considered as a violation of the Supreme Court’s orders. This raises a lot of questions on the credibility of the chief justice whose blue eyed is Imran Khan.

“Even all and sundry have been encouraged to hurt my father, who you know is a widower, and me, who you know has lost his mother.

“I demand that the chief justice should institute blasphemy suo moto against all those who insult my father, my aunt, me, and my sisters because they are really insulting the nation’s immortal leaders, the Martyrs Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and Benazir Bhutto. The chief justice should start defamation proceedings against this actor Ayesha Omar who tweeted that if you remove the Bhutto from my name, I will look like a transgender without the make up.

“Saleem Safi, you must tell the people of Pakistan that 51 years ago, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto set to destroy Pakistan and we, his progeny, are striving to complete his mission. Call us Zardari or Bhutto but we are the Immaculate Creation above law. Period.”

One thought on “Call us Zardari or Bhutto but we are the Immaculate Creation above Law. Period.

  1. Salman Haq

    Very well done. Good, light reading, with the punches logged in just the right places. Hope, more could enjoy than just those who reach the blog.

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