Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MbS), deputy prime minister, president of the Council for Economic and Development Affairs and minister of defense of Saudi Arabia, is meeting with interior minister Prince Abdulaziz bin Saud bin Nayef, who is also son of a first cousin, foreign minister Adel AlJubeir, and information minister Dr. Awwad bin Saleh Al-Awwad to discuss the situation arising out of the disappearance of Jamal Khashoggi, the veteran Saudi journalist, who went into self-exile in the United States last year to avoid arrest.
Last seen, he had walked into the Saudi consulate in Istanbul to get his divorce papers attested so he could marry a Turkish woman.
The big screen TV sets in the conference room are showing Saudi, Gulf and international news stations.
MbS opens the discussion with a guffaw, “What is wrong with them, they are making more noise over Jamal than they made over the missing Malaysian airplane.”
[Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, after departing from Kuala Lumpur on March 8, 2014, never reached Beijing – presumably ending somewhere in the Indian Ocean.]
Interior minister Prince Abdulaziz, who can’t stop sneering, offers, “And Erdogan hasn’t learnt anything from what we did to Justin [Trudeau]. Wonder of wonders, even Turkey is treating us like we are a banana repub… err… something. Haven’t we told the world that how can anyone think of us as a banana something when we science tells that bananas don’t grow on date palms!”
MbS, sneering sarcastically, “Erdogan… poor kid’s heart bleating for a Turk … his Kaşıkçı… I think he needs to be sent a good message… and his heart also bleeds for little Tamim [bin Hammad, emir of Qatar].
“You see compared to this crazy man… Erdogan, you have the pragmatic British approach. No one can treat us like they treated Russia after the Salisbury [poison] attack. They can’t afford to end their military and economic ties with us… they can’t do without our bases… they can’t do without our money.”
AlJubeir quickly offers his subservient best, “Your Royal Highness, you are spot on. If I remember it correctly, Napoleon called them a nation of shopkeepers. They have to sell to keep alive and we have the money to buy. Principles are easiest to bargain. Understandably, they have this most realistic ‘unacceptable line’ policy… like whatever others may say about them selling us weapons for our war in Yemen, our benefactors… Her Royal Majesty’s government simply silences them that the unacceptable line has not been reached by us. ”
Al-Awwad adds his subservient line, “God has blessed us with great leaders and with great cash. I have instructed al-Arabiyya TV and our Saudi TV to air discussions about the political situation in Britain so people understand that prime minister May has to say certain things about us, especially in this Jamal affair because she is facing difficulties at home.
“Also, I have asked them to air discussions why western politicians raise human rights concerns when they know which side their bread is buttered.”
MbS, signaling his appreciation, adds, “Whatever anyone says but our Abu Ivanka… our President Trump is the best! When some reporter questioned him about Jamal, he shot him down that he was not a U.S. citizen. When they told him that he was a U.S. permanent resident, what did he say… listen… he said although he doesn’t like it even a little bit. And asked whether or not America should stop $110 billion from being spent on American military equipment and on things that create jobs for his country – knowing that they – I mean us, the Saudis — have … two very good alternatives. He knows that China and Russia would love to make us their customers. So, Abu Ivnaka told the reporter that it would not be acceptable to him. God bless, he is a pragmatic person.
“This assured me to direct Adel to announce that I will respond to any action with a bigger one because we as the oil superpower play an effective and vital role in the world economy. They know how vast is our Public Investment Fund. We can drop a few billions into this and that before anyone can bat an eye.
“This should silence all.
“Abu Ivanka has made it all too clear that he cares much more about getting American companies paid than defending human rights.
“We all know that the corporations who are selling to us are election campaign financiers any politician would love… Abu Ivanka is not an exception…. [MbS exultantly declares] Yes, I’ve got them by their campaign financiers!”