Salvation Lies in Observing the Law of Omertà

Following the protest organized by his party against the arrest of his brother Shahbaz Sharif, the perpetual leader of his eponymous Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz and three times former prime minister Nawaz Sharif has summoned some important party leaders to his Jati Umra mansion near Lahore, to discuss the present situation and national developments.

Present are former National Assembly speaker Ayaz Sadiq, member National Assembly Rana Sanaullah, Senator Mushahid Hussain Sayed, former information minister Marriyum Aurangzaib and Mushahid Ullah Khan.

Having taken a few hearty sips of his lassi, he started the proceedings, “I remember that I saw this movie Godfather… this [in Panama leaks case, Supreme Court judge, Justice Asif Saeed] Khosa was calling me a godfather … he has seen me so many times… do I look like the Godfather… I think it was the actor Marlon Brando… my face is different… I think this is why Khosa later said that he never called me Godfather… yes, I was saying that I saw that movie, but I could not understand their American English because I went to this English medium school St. Anthony in Lahore … but my friend who saw this movie again on video or something, told me that the mafia has a law called omertà, which is the Code of silence when dealing with the government… and since I left the government, we are  dealing with the government so many times.

“You saw that we had our demonstration outside the assembly… so many people were there. But you saw, my brother Asif Zardari [co-chairman, Pakistan Peoples Party] did not send anyone.

“Now did you hear that his Senator Maula Bux Chandio was saying on TV that if people of Imran Khan don’t stop calling his people thieves and dacoits, then they will come out in our support.

“Even Senator Usman Kakar from PkMAP came to support us.

“I can understand that my brother Asif Zardari is facing a JIT [Joint Investigation Team] so he is sitting in the middle of the road… I think they call it, sitting on the fence… but I have seen a fence with a seat… anyway…

“I have to meet with him…. But he is living in Karachi because his spiritual person Pir Ejaz has told him to live near the seashore, in order to ward off evil spirits dangling over his head.

“It is an old story but I think that my brother Asif has not forgotten that once Shahbaz said that he will drag him on Pakistan’s roads. I have to talk to my brother Asif that he should consider the fact that Shahbaz is a little brother and he has only picked up this bad language from Imran Khan. Every day, you see the effect of Imran’s bad language. His ministers, even this young girl minister, are calling all of us with bad names.

“Yes, I do agree that my brother Asif is under great stress. You remember that after going hard against the generals, he had to fly out and live outside of the country for more than a year. You know that he believes that [Zulfikar Ali] Bhutto’s soul is in his body… probably like Benazir made a will of the party to him, his father-in-law also must have made a will of his soul for him.

“If he has problems, then what about ours… Shahbaz under arrest… first this boy Salman [younger son of Shahbaz Sharif] was called by FIA (Federal Investigation Agency] for being too rich, and now this Lahore accountability court has issued orders for the confiscation of Shahbaz’s daughter Rabia’s husband, Imran Ali Yousaf’s assets. This boy has a few things, like about 100 lots in Gulberg 3-A

“God what has happened? Since Imran Khan has come, the pain of auction of my beautiful buffaloes had hardly subsided that all this started happening.

“Even our such a good man [senior PML-N leader Khawaja] Saad Rafique and his brother Salman were denied protective bail by the Islamabad High Court when this National Accountability Bureau (NAB) is harassing them. Poor man has been served call-up notices regarding inquiries into different cases.

“I think that it is better if I tell my brother Asif that he should shed his anger and consider the situation because Shahbaz is not a bad man… I will tell him that when he said some bad thing about him, his heart was always good but at that time he had tasted a little of the ephedrine that our dear Hanif Abbasi [imprisoned for life for smuggling the drug] was exporting.

“I have to tell my brother Asif what this judge… Khosa told me in respect to the Panama case. He read a line from Mario Puzo’s novel Godfather that ‘Behind every great fortune there is a crime’. So both of us have fortunes, and both of us have to ask when did we become accountable! We have to live by muk mukka [shared interests].

“It is a matter of life and death for both of our parties… my party and my brother Asif’s party that salvation lies in observing the law of omertà. I will offer him the same assurance because within Mafia culture, breaking omertà is punishable by death.”

The meeting concludes as the former prime minister’s favorite lassi-maker, Maaja, walks in to serve the heavenly beverage to assembled.

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