The three times prime minister and perpetual head of his eponymous faction of the Pakistan Muslim League (PML-N), Mian Mohammad Nawaz Sharif is chairing his party’s central executive committee meeting.
The matter before those assembled is launching protests over party president Shahbaz Sharif’s arrest.
Nawaz starts relating his pitiable situation, “It is not even forty days that my dear wife departed from this earthly abode and despite my grief, I am here. I had an obligation to mourn for at least forty day. The detention of my dearest little bother, our party president, Shahbaz Sahib is simply deplorable to say the least.
“They are not even sparing children… now NAB [National Accountability Bureau] has summoned our young boy, Salman Shahbaz for having assets beyond means.
“This is really awful. You saw how the other day, how Imran Khan challenged NAB that if it was he at least fifty corrupt people would be in the jail. Not only that, he took a jab at our brother Asif Zardari too… that there will be no NRO [National Reconciliation Order that Gen. Musharraf issued as president for Benazir Bhutto and Zardari].
“These are challenging times… we have an obligation of guarding our wealth. We need to cooperate with all.
“Shahbaz has been picked up for the Rs. 14 billion Ashiyana-i-Iqbal housing project. Our brother Asif is facing a JIT [Joint Investigation Team] for Rs. 350 billion fake accounts. I don’t know some people are constantly bringing up these two words, ethics and morality. I asked Zardari Sahib your son has good English, ask him. He said these are dead words.
“He told me that he has been sleeping under his bed since Shahbaz Sahib got arrested. He said safety comes first.”
Party stalwart and national assembly member Rana Sanaullah offers his wisdom,
“I know some of our party folks are saying that Bilawal used to say awful things about our Shahbaz Sahib but as our leader said that we need to take along our friend and brother Asif Zardari. He has great people. Who can ever forget the golden words of his party’s Abdul Qayyum Khan Jatoi who was minister of defense production, that corruption is our right?
“I have talked to quite a few. They are saying we should hire feminists for our defense. These persons, I am told, instead of being like docile pet, rear back and bare their teeth.”
Sen. Pervaiz Rashid former federal minister of information, quickly taking the cue, adds, “I must say, our Rana Sahib has received a very good suggestion. Exactly, to scare Imran Khan we need persons who can rear back and bare their teeth.”
“I tell you that Imran Khan will go after our charter of democracy [signed between Benazir Bhutto and Nawaz Sharif] too when [PTI Senator] Faisal Javed has called it the ‘charter of corruption’. All this is very disturbing.
“I must say these are trying times. This [information minister] Fawad Chauhdry keeps repeating scary things that if we are not guilty, why we make hue and cry when there is talk of plunderers and thieves who played havoc with national wealth and stashed taxpayers’ money in foreign banks.
“He is scaring us everywhere… national assembly… senate… TV talk shows…
“My honorable friends we are talking about rallies and Fawad is saying that whatever we want to organize but the process of accountability will not stop.
“Now this is a direct hit on both of the charter of democracy parties.”
Leader of the opposition in the Senate Raja Zafarul Haq declares, “This a black day in the history of Pakistan’s democracy.”
Sanaullah adds, “Do you see how this government’s policies are ruining the country’s longstanding friendship with China and the China-Pakistan Economic Corridor… this cannot not be tolerated. Imran Khan has a disease that he sees corruption in everything. Our Mian Nawaz Sharif and Asif Zardari know how a new project is handled. Our Mian Sahib had handled the Chinese projects on the well-known principle of let us share the spoils. I tell you President Xi will not tolerate this. He has his people to benefit… I mean to feed. We did not design cost-cutting into any CPEC projects.”
PML-N spokesperson Marriyum Aurangzeb and daughter of the fiery senator Mushahid Ullah Khan, states, “See how [former finance minister Ishaq] Dar Sahib is being insulted that he owns two apartments in London, when he says that doesn’t own any property anywhere outside Pakistan.
“I would suggest that instead of asking to restore our… self-interest regime… err, I mean our democratic rights, we should hit harder and make lots of noise that fifty days have passed and Imran Khan has done nothing.
“We have a friendly media, after all we have fed them for so many decades. We will fight for our right to earn for our public service.”
The meeting breaks into applause, and raising their fists, they repeat after her, we will fight for our right to earn for our public service.