This Government is Reckless with Abandon

Yaqut Bhuolja, founder, chairman, and CEO of the Foundation of the Promotion of the Unlearned Social Climbers, is furiously calling every journalist on his contact list. The need is urgent.

In the latest expulsions, the newly installed Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf government has announced that 27 more international non-governmental organizations (INGOs) must leave the country. This was is addition to 18 INGOs barred earlier by the interior ministry from working in Pakistan and ordered to leave the country within 60 days.

Bhuolja is not only calling frantically but is also getting an unending stream of frantic calls.

Only a minute ago Dr. Nashili Ayyash, who has a doctorate in the study of the role of inherited genes in leadership from the University Karkhana, was calling… her voice choking with tears. She had blurted, “Yaqut, it is not just ours Society for the Protection of the Privileges of Homes with More than Seven Servants (SPPHMSS), but also they are kicking out anyone in sight. Of the total, nine are American funded, three British, two Dutch funded, and one each having Ireland, Danish, Italian and Swiss funding.

“Yaqut, this is like a ‘quake. I mean, can you imagine how many of our kind are losing it all. You know, my SPP has had American support since we started thirty-five years ago. What will I do! Yaquit what will I do! This December, we were due to receive our new SUVs… those six beautiful Ford Expedition Platinums… they are nearly $75 thousand per piece there. They used to give us new SUVs every three years. You know what it takes to visit houses of women employing more than seven servants! These Imran Khan people can’t understand the public service we are doing… they can’t fathom the benefits that accrue to the nation. Of course, none of the funders are bone-headed to give the funds and perks like the ones we are getting. I don’t know if the Italians go beyond giving them those tiny FIAT 500s… God have mercy on the poor souls who have these soap dishes!

“Yaqut, you know Lokaat Zangwala. Such a sweet girl! Poor thing was funded by British for her Initiative for the Promotion of British Values… she had to travel at least sixteen times a year for all the workshops they have on British values. The funding only allowed club class. At least, at my SPP, my funder goes for first class travel… or perhaps, now I must use past tense.

“Or what about our darling Gulabi Ghaseeti. Such a fine girl. The work she was doing with her National Board for the Spread of French Mores. Another hardworking girl, religiously attending all the seminars, held only in non-African francophone countries.

“Yaqut, this is disservice to Pakistan. We need to convey the message to the government pronto. Brainless lot… infatuated with weaning the country from foreign funding. Do they know that they are doing all this when Pakistan is under the Financial Action Task Force (FATF) cloud?

“I tell you, Yaqut, the funders are key members of the FATF decision-making set-up. Don’t they know how much our funders value our work? Like Dr. Shakil Afridi’s anti-polio vaccination program work’s role in Osama bin Laden’s assassination… like this Raymond Davis – CIA’s private security contractor… and others.

“Yaqut, this is ridiculous… nitpicking about the country’s security concerns when those international donors don’t give a penny for nothing.”

“Dr. Nashili, you are spot on. This talk about security is simply questioning the integrity of our own citizens… all of us are highly respected professionals, and so welcome to our sponsors. It is an insult that we are being asked to get no objection certificates from the federal and our respective provincial interior departments.

“This is horrible… horrible… Pakistan’s present situation is of tainted and negative perceptions. We, the NGOs funded by the INGOs were the well-groomed look of the nation.

“Did you read the full order? They have made it mandatory for all NGOs to get an annual audit from an audit firm certified by the interior ministry.

“Dr. Nashili, people like you… how do they expect a constantly traveling person like you to do all this audit work… I mean… with all our focus on our own benefits.”

“Yaqut, you said it all. I would ask our Asif Zardari, Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, Bakhtawar Bhutto Zardari and Aseefa Bhutto Zardari to raise their voice. Bilawal speaks such good English… he can deliver his remarks in the assembly. They alone understand the pain of liberals. They know the value of personal interest or national interest.

“Yaqut, now Imran Khan is adding insult to injury. He is announcing rewards for whistleblowers that help catch and convict corrupt officials and politicians… he is offering them 20% of the recoveries… imagine how many would be snitching against us.

“I tell you this is simply paranoia. This government is reckless with abandon.”

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