Mixing Religion with Politics

Pakistan Peoples Party stalwarts Sen. Sherry Rehman, former senator Aitzaz Ahsan, former Senate chairman Raza Rabbani and general-secretary Taj Haider are meeting in the luxurious Sindh House located in Islamabad’s F-5 sector.

The topic of discussion was to be Finance Minister Asad Umar presentation of his government’s amendments to the budget for fiscal 2018-2019, however, the discussion became centered on his statement that “[A] lot of people sacrificed a lot for this country, but this country wasn’t gained by human effort alone: this nation was given to us by God.”

Taj Haider got the meeting off to a brisk start, “Didn’t we all say all the time that Imran Khan is a molvi without a beard? Now, not just him but his cabinet is also infested with his kind… what is this Asad Umar declaration that God gave them Pakistan really?”

Sherry Rehman added more than her paisa worth, “Taj Haider is spot on. Where does God figure in the budget thing? Not just that instead of talking about what his party will do, he says there is so much potential in this country, and we will, God-willing, take it to new heights. Oh ho ho … so God will be doing the taking for them.”

Raza Rabbani, his fist in the air and his cigar precariously dangling from his lips, “No sense of history … God gave them Pakistan…Really!”

Aitzaz Ahsan, tempted to start with a couplet, offered, “Of course, Asad has not experienced the majesty of our Zulfikar Ali Bhutto … the eternal and living leader of Pakistan.

“It is Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and Zulfikar Ali Bhutto alone who made Pakistan for us … a Pakistan to be ruled by his progeny with us, their loyal workers doing our duty for their glory and success.

“This reminds of me of Tennyson’s famous words, ‘Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die.’”

Taj Haider continuing his pace, asked, “Aitzaz isn’t Imran [Khan] your Zaman Park neighbor? Didn’t your affect reach him?

“The eternal fact remains if our eternal and living leader had not joined Indira Gandhi and Sheikh Mujib is pushing out East Pakistan, all of us would speaking Bengali … East Pakistan had the numbers and those folks know how to multiply!

“Don’t you see Canada? They have to learn two languages, English and French. Imagine we would be speaking Bengali.”

Aitzaz, removes his glasses, gets up from his chair, and pacing back and forth, delivers his argument, “Taj Haider not just Bengali. Mujib would have ruled without a break with East Pakistan’s numbers. If our eternal and living leader Zulfikar Ali Bhutto did not give us Pakistan, we would be nowhere what ministries and senate seats, we would have been nobodies.

“Even my wife was made chairperson of Pakistan Cricket Board—Women Wing, with all the perks and all. God bless our eternal leader.”

Sherry Rehman, now bursting with emotion adds, “And Asad Umar has the gall to say that God gave us Pakistan. We should assign Nafisa Shah to tutor him. She is good at it. See how she tutored Imran on his crazy scheme to convert the prime minister’s house into some education thing.”

Raza Rabbani adds his advice, “You are right Sherry. This assignment needs to be done sooner than anything else.

“Did you see how Imran used religion when he invited his cricket friend Navjot Singh Sidhu to his oath-taking. Instead of discussing Navjot’s batting memories, Imran adds the religion thing saying that he will open the border at Kartarpur for Sikh pilgrims to visit Gurwdara Darbar Sahib Kartarpur without visas.

“This is pure incitement. Imran is trying to excite the religious Sikh, especially when the 550th birth anniversary of Guru Nanak, the founder of Sikhism, is soon approaching. Imagine if Asma Jahangir would have been in our midst today, how she would have reacted to this scheme to embarrass prime minister Modi and to the disturb her efforts to promote unconditional love for India.

“Beware … beware … now that the doors of the Kaaba were opened for Imran to pray inside, he will only return with increased religious zeal.

“Raza, Taj, and Aitzaz we need to act. We have friends in countries that benefit from the business done by us in their protected offshore entities … they hate do-gooders who want to prevent money from flying into the offshore accounts … we need to lobby them … our brave leader Asif Zardari has a rich offshore portfolio. Once we create the scare about Imran being religious, the powers that be would come running to embrace our leadership and support it in ascending power. We owe it to our rightful leaders, Bilawal, Bakhtawar and Aseefa is whose veins flows the blood laden with ruling genes … the genes of our eternal and living leader Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and our ever-living queen, our great martyr Benazir Bhutto.

“In America lie our chips … the mood in Washington, D.C. is out with anything Islamic … once we set up the message that Imran is mixing religion with politics; the victory lap is ours!”

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