Together We Will Fail this Accountability

Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) parliamentarian and former minister for planning and development Ahsan Iqbal has invited Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) general-secretary Taj Haider to discuss the challenges they face where the Pakistan Tehreek-e Insaf rules not only in the center but also in Punjab and Khyber Pakhtoonkhwa, and is in ruling coalition in Baluchistan.

Taj Haider, eagerly appreciating Ahsan Iqbal’s assessment that prime minister Imran Khan lacks the experience of governance, says, “What government starts planning for the next election only about a month into its first stint?

“Ahsan, I agree, that is purely childish to grant citizenship to Pakistan-born refugees of Afghan and Bangladeshi origin. Is Imran trying to be American, to where pregnant women travel in time for their delivery so that the child gets citizenship? Refugees are refugees … you lived here one year or a century!

“His spin masters are saying that giving them papers so they can get jobs and feel being part of the society is the first step toward controlling lawlessness in Karachi. Nah … Ahsan, it is simply aimed at garnering more support for the PTI in the next elections.

“Ahsan, no one is telling us, Imran has, if any, ruling genes.”

“Yes, my respected Taj Haider, you are right! I tell you that this ploy will not work. You have these people calling themselves refugees since they came here at the creation of Pakistan in 1947 … they created their party MQM and tweaked the name a trifle in order to sound more patriotic. I don’t know what these newly made Bengalis and Afghans call themselves.”

Taj offered, “Indeed, Ahsan indeed … one speaking Bengali and the other Pushtu and some other dialects.

“Ahsan, we should block this law granting migrants the right to citizenship. We are the lawmakers and should act accordingly; the law should safeguard the interest of the citizens… I mean this is really aimed at weakening our hold on Sindh … Imran already has a dozen National Assembly seats in Karachi. Once a refugee should always remain a refugee.

“Ahsan, this is a conspiracy to dilute the Sindhi character of Sindh. Imran is trying to destroy our party’s Sindh Card!

“Did you read today’s newspaper … the hereditary government in Sindh in power and its former minister, our Sharjeel Memon being hounded for drinking … nothing else to do, when everything was covered up after that idiotic raid by this do-gooder chief justice that now some investigation officer says one of the bottles recovered from his hospital room had two inches of alcohol. Two inches doesn’t get anyone drunk! Does it!”

Ahsan Iqbal quick to sustain Taj’s anger, added, “Imran Khan thinks that he is running a cancer hospital and not a country! He is under the impression that he would be able to sustain his government by auctioning cars and opening governors houses to the public.

“I was minister for planning and development … I am a Wharton graduate … Imran should know that running the country is not for amateurs who think they can build dams through collecting charity. What is the IMF for? What are international banks for? Borrow, launder your share, and create eyewash projects! This is the way Pakistan has to be run forever!

“My dear respected Taj Haider, you tell me how can any nation prosper when no development funds are allocated to the elected representatives … don’t they have bills to pay … don’t they have supporters to satisfy … don’t they have to plan their hold on power for themselves and their future generations?

“Sir, in the meantime, I am having seminars for our aspiring parliamentarians on how to conceal their wealth when filing their nomination papers.

“We are blessed that both of our parties are led by genetically-correct inherited leadership. We shall fight together to preserve our sexually transmitted democracy. We shall not let this Imran continue to destroy the system that we have built … a structure that rewards us for public service…”

As they toasted with their club sandwiches, they punched the table, declaring, “Together we will fail this accountability.”

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