The True Heir of the Real Apostle of Peace

Dr. Nashili Ayyash, who has a doctorate in the study of the role of inherited genes in leadership from the University Karkhana, who serves as the chief of publicity of the Pakistan Peoples Party appointed by the party’s co-chair Asif Ali Zardari, his son Bilawal and daughters Bakhtawar and Assefa.

Her association with the party has been nothing but a horn of plenty. During the party’s stints in government, her husband has transformed into a billionaire banker from a bank teller, of course with a little help from powers that be.

Nashili has a string of successes of her own, apart from being named as member of the national assembly and later a senator. She was the one to lead the country’s delegations to the various UN sessions, and UN and other agencies meetings in various countries. Considering her thirst for a good drink, she was even posted as ambassador to France.

Nashili, knows where her bread is buttered, continues to rise in her adulation of Zardari and progeny. Cited by the media as inner core, Nashili never spares the opportunity to blow the lead family’s horns.

She took to the ramparts when the Supreme Court ordered establishing a Joint Investigation Team to probe Zardari and his sister’s Rs. 34 billion fake accounts scam.

She was in the forefront screaming against Prime Minister Imran Khan’s decision to turn ultra-luxurious public housing into educational and public institutions. She could not bear the thought that the genes-destined Zardari progeny, upon attaining their due, may be obliged to live in simple housing.

As party spokesperson, the media seeks her.

Today, Hairan Harkati of K2 TV is interviewing Nashili about her party’s post-election prospects.

Before Hairan could utter a word, Nashili started her spiel, “Every Pakistani knows the genius of our great leader, Asif Zardari who was blessed to work alongside our sublime leader, the Great Martyr Benazir Bhutto. You saw his sagacity in nominating the great lawyer Aitzaz Ahsan as our presidential candidate when the Nawaz League could only field a mullah sporting a carrot-like headgear! Aitzaz is the brave defender of those who know that public service is never free … he represented both Nawaz Sharif and our co-chairman Asif Zardari in what were called corruption trials … and now he is defense lawyer for Nestle Corporation in the so-called water theft inquiry initiated by that nosey chief justice.”

Harkat braves to put in a word, “Your party did more than poorly in the Punjab. So what, if any remedial action, are you taking?”

Nashili couldn’t bear this and snapped back, “Punjab … let them suffer. They have forgotten the lifelong favor done to them by our party’s founder, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto … the eternal and living leader of Pakistan.

“Our revered leader sought peace in the region. Indeed the move to jettison East Pakistan from Pakistan was his genius idea about solving the Kashmir, an issue that has dragged on for seven decades.

“Harkat, first let me come to your Punjab question.

“But let me digress here for a second … you say Punjab … The National Assembly Public Accounts Committee chairmanship traditionally goes to the leader of opposition, Shehbaz Sharif by default. But what about our Charter of Democracy with them … it should be given to our Khurshid Shah … such a talented man who rose for a meter reader to billionaire under the blessings of our leadership! Punjab has no feelings for anyone!

“Now back to your question. If our great and blessed Zulfikar Ali Bhutto had let Sheikh Mujibur Rehman claim parliamentary majority and become prime minister, there would never have been a Punjab as kingmaker in the National Assembly … East Pakistan had the numbers and growing.

“Indeed no Nawaz Sharif … no Pervez Musharraf … not even Imran Khan. At least, Imran Khan should go the Garhi Khuda Bux and lay a wreath of roses on the hallowed resting place of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto … the eternal and living leader of Pakistan before he goes to the grave of Mr. Jinnah. It was our leader who created the real Pakistan.

“Harkat, all I can say is that Punjab will pay for its foolishness. But if they regain their senses, they will elect our glorious leader, Bilawal Bhutto Zardari in whose veins runs the blood of our three hallowed leaders, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, Benazir Bhutto, and Asif Ali Zardari.

“You know that I have a doctorate in the study of the role inherited genes in leadership from the University Karkhana… I know all aspects of sexually transmitted democracy. And now the government is in the hands of this usurper as the inherited genes in leadership doctrine explains. In which generation, did Imran Khan have a ruler? His gene transmission is so flawed that none of two sons could become a cricketer.

“This is why Imran keeps sprouting problems every day … now this crazy project of turning homes fit for rulers into colleges and museums and their beautiful grounds to be trampled upon by the unwashed.

“Our great leader Zulfikar Ali Bhutto laid the road to peace in Kashmir. With no East Pakistan to care for, India had stationed more than a million troops in Kashmir and just as Israel is close to solving the Palestine problem, India too will do it in Kashmir.

“Please, Harkat, you have to always acknowledge our Bilawal as the true heir of the real apostle of peace, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto.

“Thank you.”

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