Everything is Ours

The three Zardari progeny Bilawal, Bakhtawar and younger sister Aseefa are in deep discussion, arising out of the youngest sibling’s concerns.

“Did you guys see what misinformation is being spread? They are saying that Dr. Sumera Shams of PTI is the youngest MPA of KP assembly at the age of 26. She is from Lower Dir, an area that had banned the right to vote for women and she is also the first female to cast her vote there in 2013.

“This is wrong! Was she born with our kind of genes! The three of us have been born to rule Pakistan. I became a leader the day I was born in the year 1993, on the 3rd of February! I have the right to any senate, national or provincial assembly seat. Period.

“And the both of you gained the same on you birthdates, September 21, 1988 and January 25, 1990,” declared Aseefa.

“Aseefa, this is not all. First, Bilawal was made to lose his birthright seat of Lyari, and now I see more mischief against us. Did you note that the largest online encyclopedia platform, Wikipedia, to which millions of people turn towards for information deleted your and my profiles alleging ‘the subject of the article does not have any notability by its own.’

“Are these clowns serious!!! We inherited the great Pakistan Peoples Party … so what more notability they need? Uff, pity, what standards they have … They are saying the most of the information on the page wasn’t gathered on my merits but on the merits of our Bhutto family.

“Aseefa, for you, with all the work you did in the anti-polio campaigns, they are saying, “working for the UN or any other top organization doesn’t make one notable… totally disrespectful … no one on earth has made the sacrifices that the Bhutto family has made … this foolishness continues when they argue, ‘One needs to have enough primary and secondary sources vouching for the work and popularity of a person to be featured’,” charged Bakhtawar.

Brother Bilawal is still not done wiping his tears, which keep returning, when he thinks of being deprived of his birthright, his parents’ seat in Lyari.

At that moment, their father walks in and comforts them, adding, “Don’t fret yourselves, everything will be fine. We have the government in Sindh … our licenses and contracts are assured to those who stand with us.

“The courts have not stopped attacking us … the money laundering thing about me and Faryal … our great prime minister Yusuf Raza Gilani … Yusuf is extraordinarily loyal to our family and he is being questioned for misuse of authority while in office in contracting an advertising campaign causing a government loss of Rs. 125 plus millions … Shahbaz Sharif is being called for the Ashiana Housing and Punjab Power Development Company cases. Everything shall pass.

“Right now Shahbaz Sharif is running after me begging that we use our ten members in Punjab Assembly to assure chief ministership for his son, Hamza. You know that I know how to cut deals … if Hamza gets Punjab, then Bilawal gets the leader of the opposition slot in the National Assembly,” informed Asif Zardari.

“Yes, Bilawal lost his birthright seat of Lyari but at least our obedient people in Larkana voted as required of them. You should see the condition of Maulana Fazlur Rehman. He can’t stop crying for his seat, which means lost diesel import permits and his taxpayer funded foreign junkets.

“He is raving mad at Imran Khan for wrecking his life. The Maulana even asked me to support a resolution in the Senate that the International Cricket Council should be asked to order a re-play of 1992 World Cup final of Pakistan versus England in Melbourne to make sure that Imran Khan did not win this game with the help of the Pakistan Army, the intelligence service and the Pakistani judiciary. He reminded me that we should petition Najm Sethi, chairman of Pakistan Cricket Board to get this thing done before Imran Khan takes oath as prime minister and by default becomes the Board’s patron-in-chief.

“The poor man is 65, and in tatters. I sent had Yusuf to comfort him but God knows how he slipped because in trying comfort Fazlur Rehman, he told him that we too have suffered but you have been like thrashed like a dog. Oh no …

“The Maulana has always done a great job of attacking and insulting Imran Khan. I feel that we must arrange a surprise for him. Although, he has no seat in the National Assembly, I am going to ask Shahbaz Sharif to join me in offering a resolution that a seat in the visitor’s gallery should be extended so that the Maulana can enjoy the feeling of being in the house!            `

“I say, never disappoint a friend.

“Also, we need to press Imran Khan and his party that endlessly talking about my smart moves, which he calls ‘corruption’ may make for entertaining moments, but it’s a bit like shooting fish in a barrel,” states Zardari.

A tearful Aseefa hugs her father, and asks, “Dad, we should use our Senate power to get a resolution adopted that everything is ours … the right of the children of Benazir Bhutto and Asif Zardari!”

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