Everyday of the week you could not miss Chuck Rednackk’s lifted Cadillac Escalade and Ray Roy Dunskapp’s lifted fire engine red Ford Super Duty truck fitted with BFGoodrich Mud-Terrain tires parked in front of the Moose’s Haunt Bar & Grill.
This was not moose country though but the name was to honor the former Alaska governor and failed vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin who boasted of her moose burger making skills.
Although an unspoken rule, their parking was reserved nearest to the pole flying the oversized confederate flag at the front of the bar.
“Ray Roy I heard two awful things on Radio WSHIT as I was driving here,” informed Rednackk.
“God bless … Lord Jesus … what now Chuck!” a concerned Dunskapp blurted.
“Ray Roy, can’t say anymore this is America … I heard on the radio that a jury … mind you a jury of 12 clowns … convicted this guy … Mark something …oh yes,
Marq Vincent Perez … for what … setting fire to some Islamic temple … they call it a mosque, I guess someplace in Texas … Victoria … it was no nooklier bomb or something … Ray Roy!” said a dejected Rednackk.
“It’s getting that bad Chuck! And what is that other thing?” asked Dunskapp.
“Ray Roy this one is even badder. A threat to America. Creeping takeover of our country by those jeehadd forces.
“You remember that first we got Ellison in the House … sent by those liberals in Minnesota,” said Rednackk downing his tankard of beer.
“How can I forget that … totally un-American guy, this Keith does oath on his Koran. And no one stopped him when the Constitution of the United States says that oaths are only taken on the Holy Bible. O Jesus in Heaven … now what,” Dunskapp lamented taking his 12 ounce can in one big gulp.
“Ray Roy you know how these Mooslims creep in! And next is André Carson coming from Indiana of all places but on a Democratic ticket. I never knew Indiana has that many liberals. Yes, Indiana, where Mike Pence was governor before he became Vice President. Yes, yes, and Pence says that he is an Evangelical Christian, and was an early supporter of the Tea Party movement. As radio host, he used to call himself ‘Rush Limbaugh on decaf’. Wow … and his state sends the second Mooslim to our House! And I hear it sharp and clear that Carson is seeking re-election and from Indiana.
“Ray Roy you know how it is said that drops make an ocean. Now this radio was telling us that in November … yes just four months from now, there are some 50 of those Mooslims running for national or statewide offices,” confided Rednackk.
No one, however, had the thought that 50 out of 3 million population was not even a drop in a bucket.
“O Jesus. God save America. Chuck what was this Supreme Court thing that those liberals were venting their anger at? They call it Mooslim Ban … and our President Trump won. When he has banned those Mooslims, then how come 50 of them are trying to sneak into our federal and state houses?” asked Dunskapp tapping his glass furiously.
“Ray Roy, the radio was saying that it is thankfully 50, otherwise they had started with as many as 90 running for national or statewide offices this election cycle. These Mooslims are going to creep into our house … the radio was saying that at least three of these Mooslims are running as Republicans. This is bad. Before Trump sanctions any country, he should sanction these Mooslims from creeping into our federal and state houses. We don’t want to be hearing jeehad and Shaariah in our houses,” proclaimed Rednackk.
“But I am afraid Chuck, if Trump doesn’t sanction them, these Mooslims are going into sneak in from Michigan, which I am told has one of the nation’s largest Arab-American populations. And you know Chuck, it is those automakers who imported this menace to America. I guess they all are liberals,” sighed Dunskapp.
“Ray Roy, I am told that these Mooslims have some order called a fatwa, like iRan had one against some writer they hated. So can’t we ask some bishop or may be appeal to the Pope to issue something like this fatwa to keep America safe from these Mooslims.
“Ray Roy, I am not Catholic, never been one, but I am ready to go Rome to get the Pope do it.
“Ray Roy, we gotta STOP it now!” screamed Rednackk.