No way Mr. Chief Justice

Former president Asif Zardari is in a meeting with his family, besides his three children, Bilawal, Bakhtawar, and Aseefa, there are his sister Faryal Talpur and her husband Mir Munawar Ali Talpur. Also present are his star lawyers Farooq H. Naek, Aitzaz Ahsan, Nayar Bukhari and Latif Khosa to brief them on their legal options.

“Munawar this is election engineering by the establishment through the Supreme Court,” rumbled Zardari.

First they get me and Faryal and all those connected to the 29 ‘benami’ accounts on Exit Control List (ECL), and then the Federal Investigation Agency (FIA) constitutes a Joint Investigation Team (JIT), headed by their Sindh chief Munir Ahmed Shaikh, to investigate the matter.

“Now, Munawar, Aitzaz, Latif Khosa … a BS-20 officer, who was earlier serving DIG at the Central Police Office, has been asked to question the first Pakistani president to complete his term.

“No … be warned, you cannot break Asif Zardari with such cheap tricks! They want to prove that our ‘benami’ (no name) accounts were used to channel illicit funds. They want us to explain the accounts and transactions.

“This character assassination campaign is launched against Asif Zardari during elections … We should draw the attention of the Election Commission of Pakistan,” declared Zardari.

Before he could proceed further, his youngest child, daughter Aseefa interjected, “Dad, you should call Dr. Asim Hussain so he can send a doctor from his Ziauddin Hospital to give medical certificates to you and Puffi Faryal.”

“Oh, my little princess, my little angel, yes, you are absolutely right. I have been thinking that President Trump got all his deferments from service in Vietnam due to his bone spurs. We can ask Dr. Asim’s consultant to certify that no doctor in Pakistan knows how to treat bone spurs.

“I just checked on my iPhone that we would need to go to Geneva for the treatment. There is the Hirslanden Clinique La Colline, which is the best-specialized hospitals for medical treatment in Geneva … I do my banking in that city too,” beamed Zardari.

Once again Aseefa interjected, “Dad, lately, I have seen someone has been tweeting the 8th February 2013 report published in The Telegraph headlined, ‘Outrage in Pakistan at multi-million pound home for Benazir Bhutto’s son’… That it cost £32 million … I guess that it is a big sum for some people in Pakistan … and now this report in Daily Mail that Nawaz Sharif’s sons own £32 million worth of properties in London … so our 14-acre house in Lahore is like their several properties in London.

“Last night, you re-hired the lobbyist in Washington, D.C. who worked on your NRO, but now we also need an effective public relations campaigns in this country too. I am afraid these tweets will get some people talking. I would say that we hire the same PR team that worked on the NRO.”

“Yes, my little angel, I am going to do it as soon as their morning hours start.

“We have four lawyers in this room. How could the Supreme Court take suo motu notice of a 2015 probe into what they call suspicious transactions made through 29 ‘benami’ accounts? What is the fuss about $30 million … and now some say $60 million.

“Meanwhile, we have to get this treatment in Geneva project started.

“Thanks God, Bilawal doesn’t need to worry about his elections because people are voting for our nation’s greatest martyrs, his mother, our BB, and his grandfather, our profound leader and guide and our inspiration, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto,” beamed Zardari.

Aitzaz, speaking for himself and his legal colleagues, opined, “Our Mr. President and our dear sister Faryal, you just go there and deny their charges. Simply go and tell them that how could you open these no name accounts when you have never even heard of this term.”

“Yes, just keep calm and outright deny their accusations. You know that there are no lie detectors in Pakistan. Simply it will take time to even to import and then get training on using them. Be assured no can challenge you,” declared Latif Khosa, raising his thumbs in jubilation.

“Yes, you are right Uncle Latif. You know last week when Chief Justice of Pakistan Mian Saqib Nisar ordered starting construction of the Diamer-Bhasha and Mohmand dams immediately as the country faces impending water crisis, I said the judiciary is not involved in the construction of dams anywhere in the world… the construction of dams is the responsibility of governments… building dams is not judiciary’s job,” roared Bilawal.

“I mean, yes, imagine the Supreme Court issuing dam building contracts. These multibillion projects need the involvement of politicians. The judges don’t know about negotiating prices and commissions and gifts.

“Since the day this Chief Justice … Saqib Nisar has launched his dam fund, donating his own one million rupees, and gotten the Army to contribute two days pay, he is looking to squeeze out cash from anywhere.

“And his target is Asif Ali Zardari. No way Mr. Chief Justice.

“First the arrest of this poor heart patient Hussain Lawai and then they get the Securities and Exchange Commission of Pakistan to ask that the Pakistan Stock Exchange to immediately remove him from his post as their chairman. Is it fair!

“I am afraid, these hunters’ next aim will be Asif Zardari. They will ask the Election Commission of Pakistan to get our party to remove me as co-chair. No way Mr. Chief Justice. Asif Ali Zardari has this,” he points toward the wall adorned with framed copy of his late wife’s alleged will making him the party co-chair.

“No way Mr. Chief Justice.”

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