Enough Done, We are Saudi

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, the First Deputy Prime Minister, and President of the Council for Economic and Development has summoned his interior minister Abdulaziz bin Saud bin Nayef Al Saud to discuss the Kingdom’s internal security situation.

He commends the interior minister for the arrest of the prominent human rights campaigner, Mohammed al-Bajadi, and some others, who are called “human rights activists” by the overseas media.

“You did a good job locking up that al-Bajadi. Good, his Saudi Civil and Political Rights Association should stay banned,” said the crown prince.

“This man is up to no good. He is creating the impression that House of Saud can be coerced into doing this and that. You remember that in 2012, he went on hunger strike for five weeks over his imprisonment the previous year for attending a protest in Riyadh. Did we ever declare that protests were legal? Who gave permission to the families of detained prisoners to air their complaints? Doesn’t he remember that he spent five years in prison for insurrection? We released him in 2015. All these troublemakers should be in for life. May be we chop off the heads of a few,” declared Abdulaziz bin Saud bin Nayef.

“You have a point here, dear Abdulaziz,” the crown prince said.

“Where are they getting their ideas and money from … this wretched Aljazeera, and directly from Qatar … this little Tamim of Qatar is trying to measure up against the House of Saud, God forbid.

“Do we care for clowns like Amnesty International, and this and that right organization? Who cares! God bless you, you have built such good relations with President Trump, and Jared … Kushner is like a brother to you,” added Abdulaziz.

“Indeed, President Trump, our dear Abu Ivanka, loves me, and he loves the House of Saud. He knows that I can buy all the beautiful weapons he wants to export. Abu Ivanka is a very pragmatic person who knows what is best for America and not some Amnesty or this or that right!” declared the crown prince.

“What really irks me … angers me … when you have already announced it to the world that women can start driving on 24th of June, why they had to put up a driving show now. I will see that the leaders of these troublemakers stay locked in for a long time,” said Abdulaziz.

“These arrests should serve as a warning to all that it is the House of Saud that is in charge of everything. The country’s social revolution that I am gifting to the people will have set strict limits defined by me. We can’t let them ask for this or that standards.

“What! haven’t I given them movie theaters? Just go and watch movies and stop whinnying! This right and that right … these rights things are not Saudi traditions. They should be thankful for everything that the House of Saud gives them.

“May God bless our grandfather for the good that he spread. He could have just kept all this wealth to himself … within the House of Saud, but he decided to give to others too. We can’t tolerate any complaining.

“Abdulaziz did you read this one. On May 25, Israel’s Supreme Court rejected a legal challenge from six human rights groups to the military’s rules on when soldiers can fire their weapons on protesters. These folks had asked the court to declare as unlawful any regulations that allow soldiers to open fire at unarmed civilians.

“Right. The government has the right to do whatever it wants, and not some silly organization.

“This reminds me that in my capacity as defense minister, I will send a bouquet to Israeli Defense Minister Avigdor Lieberman congratulating him on the ruling.

“What do they expect from us? Should we enact the American First Amendment? Did President Roosevelt ask our grandfather to enact this law? He was the 26th President of the United States, and the House of Saud has been dealing with American presidents since then. Now Abu Ivanka is the 45th President and no one has and no one ever will question the House Saud,” declared the crown prince.

“O my Mohammad, we need to tell it straight to these off-headed people that it is enough done, we are Saudi,” chimed in Abdulaziz.

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