Am I Responsible for Everything on this Earth?

After iftari, former Prime Minister, Nawaz Sharif, upon return to his Jati Umra residence after he had spent another session on May 22 recording his statement before the accountability court, has called a huddle with his daughter Maryam and his close advisors, who include Punjab law minister Rana Sanaullah, and his brother Punjab Chief Minister.

Of course, the first order of the evening was a couple of tall glasses of lassi for the former head of state to conclude the day’s fast. A filling of biryani and assorted dinner offerings brightened up things for him.

“Maryam, you know that I was so right when last month I said that Imran is the Chief Justice’s darling … his ladla

“They are asking me about the affairs of my children. Tomorrow they will ask me about the affairs of my grandchildren!

“Do they ask these questions of Imran Khan? Both of his sons are always living in England and he never gets to be asked about them … not even he is asked that why his son, Sulaiman … I mean Sulaiman Isa Khan is studying in Middle Sex University … what is this Middle Sex, tell me? When you fill out a form they are asking under ‘Sex’, male or female, but I have never seen this ‘Middle Sex’ … so why no top or lower court is asking this from Imran Khan? Yes, tell me! He is their ladla.

“And from Mian Mohammad Nawaz Sharif, the three time Prime Minister of Pakistan, they are asking 127 questions only in the Avenfield reference. Indeed, I am not their ladla … I did the atom bomb test and they give me NO respect … Everyone in the world knows that Nawaz Sharif did the atom bomb test on May 28,1998 … and in this month of May they are asking me useless questions.

“I told them that I wasn’t involved in any dealings with the Qatari royals or in the business affairs of my family. I had to show them birth certificates for both Hussain and Hassan to prove that they are adults and fully independent and responsible for their actions and business affairs.

“So they will not ask Imran about his son going to Middle Sex University but they will ask Mian Mohammad Nawaz Sharif, the three time Prime Minister of Pakistan, about the business of his sons, who are like the sons of Imran Khan, citizen of England.

“Yes, the Avenfield is property of my two sons, so it is there I and my family stay when we are in London. Where else do we stay … in some motel? But are they ever asking why Imran Khan is always staying in the property of his former mother-in-law when he is going to London? Yes, he is their ladla.

“Are they asking Imran Khan about the business of his father, Ikramullah Khan Niazi? No. But they are asking Nawaz Sharif about the business of his father. I believe by now they know that my father, my Abbaji, is not longer living but they asking about him.

“I told them that I was not involved in setting up Gulf Steel as it had been launched by Abbaji. I never asked Abbaji about any 12 million dirham investment and the settlement with the Qatari sheikhs… this AED amount is less than $3 million, but they are asking me.

“They are asking me about letter from Qatari sheikh. They know that all the Arab people love Nawaz Sharif and his entire family. When that Pervez Musharraf was trying to murder me, King Abdullah sent his private jumbo jet to take me away!

“They are asking me about things which happened thirty or forty years back. Am I a computer hard-drive?

“They were asking me about Gulf Steel Mills and I told them that except its opening ceremony in 1974, I have no knowledge whatsoever about any event and transaction. I had to remind them that I had to go to the opening because it was the factory of my Abbaji.

“They are pulling questions out of a hat and asking me. They are asking about obtaining loan for Hudaibiya Paper Mills and the litigation of Al-Towfeek Investment Company. They are asking about Capital FZE … about Mossack Fonseca … Nielsen, Nescoll and Coomber Group, Inc., and what not. Am I a cricket scorer to remember all the numbers!

“I do not know whether or not they are fasting because they keep asking questions. I am told there is an English saying, which says let bygones be bygones … like we say in Punjabi, iss tayy, mitti pao … I mean put soil on top of it.

“I wish like Benazir Bhutto who did put soil on top of it under the National Reconciliation Order with help of George W. Bush’s pressure on General Musharraf, I should have taken help from President Clinton to do iss tayy, mitti pao… I mean put soil on top of it. Then there would have been no questions like these!

“Yes, there is bias. I wish that I too was the blue eyed boy of these judges like Imran Khan is. These judges don’t know a word about cricket, and they think Imran Khan is a great player. I was also a cricket player. What has Imran Khan done, when he retired at nearly 40 years old … a total of six centuries to his record!

“On my next hearing I am going to ask them, am I responsible for everything on this earth?

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