Take It America!

In the aftermath of President Trump’s speech of August 21 accusing Pakistan of aiding and abetting terrorism, Foreign Minister Khawaja Asif has taken his cabinet colleagues Federal Minister for Railways Khawaja Saad Rafique and federal minister for privatization Daniyal Aziz to meet with Prime Minister Shahid Khaqan Abbasi.

Saad Rafique true to his form opens the discussion, “Sir, Prime Minister Sahib, you must have seen our great man, Khawaja Asif’s response to Trump’s utterly disgusting speech.

“Certainly, you made the right choice to have Khawaja Asif as the Foreign Minister of Pakistan. So Trump thinks that only he can tweet. See what great tweet our Khawaja Asif has done.

“I mean, Imran Khan is always showing off about his playing days when he placed the ball on the right spot. If anyone can do the right moves, it is our Khawaja Asif. See how he took care of the Haqqani issue. He drew the attention of Asif Zardari that instead of criticizing our government, he should rein in Hussain Haqqani because this person who was Zardari’s ambassador to the U.S. is taking credit of authoring the American policy that Trump announced.”

Khawaja Asif interrupted his cabinet colleague, “One needs to put things in the right perspective. The U.S. is always blaming Pakistan for harboring the Haqqani network, whom they have placed on their terror list.

“I mean since 2001, this Haqqani … Haqqani song has being going on from America.”

Danyal Aziz basking in the euphoria of his much delayed cabinet plum, adds, “They have the real Haqqani and they keep blaming us.

“They even made him Senior Fellow and Director for South and Central Asia at Hudson Institute!”

“Yes, Mr. Prime Minister. This is what I am saying that this Haqqani … Haqqani song keep playing when they are the one who are pampering Hussain Haqqani,” repeated Khawaja Asif.

The Prime Minister pauses and adds, “See despite all this, Trump is telling us that ‘We can no longer be silent about Pakistan’s safe havens for terrorist organizations.’ So as our foreign minister, you did the right thing and asked them about Hussain Haqqani enjoying American perks in Washington, D.C.

“And the connection of Zardari is clear enough. What about Trump? Didn’t he invite Zardari to his inauguration?

“I tell you the Zardari connection is deep. When Biden was Vice President, he had dinner with Zardari in Virginia.

“You are right. This Haqqani and Zardari connection is a reality. It was your duty as foreign minister to lay it out clearly.”

Khawaja Asif, Saad Rafique and Daniyal Aziz attempt to speak at the same time but Khawaja Asif gets his words through, “It is time that we say ‘Take It America!’”

Saad Rafique adds his bit, “I mean we are talking about the Haqqani issue and CNN airs its interview with Imran Khan.

“It is simply outrageous. Our embassy in Washington should let CNN know.

“And this Gori of CNN … I mean Hala Gorani … was constantly dropping in the prime minister word for Imran Khan to pick. No doubt, President Trump calls CNN as ‘Fake News CNN’. This woman was trying plant the idea of prime minister in Imran Khan’s already confused mind.

“Thank God the PTV is under government control and did not telecast the live debate on foreign policy because every word from Imran Khan was incendiary … absolutely!

“Now, what else you can expect from Imran Khan. He told CNN that that Pakistan could survive without any aid from America.

“Really! Without aid! Imagine who will enter politics when they know there is no aid money coming to dip their hands into.

“I mean Trump is asking change from Pakistan. But did he say that we change so much that we don’t ask for aid.

“Mr. Prime Minister your father was in the air force, but even Khawaja Asif and Daniyal Aziz would remember that milk powder used to come in American aid, and every body would try to get that milk. Where else you could find American milk in Pakistan.

“Our nation has been raised on American wheat and American milk, and Imran Khan is telling CNN that Pakistan could survive without any aid from America.

“I think Mr. Prime Minister that now our Khawaja Asif has initiated the Haqqani discussion, our foreign office should issue a statement asking them to rein in the Haqqani in Washington before asking us to rein in Haqqani wherever he is in Afghanistan.

“It should be a fair deal!”

Khawaja Asif interjects, “Yes, Mr. Prime Minister, I will get this statement issued keeping in mind the American TV news cycle timings so the all Americans should know that Pakistan has said, ‘Take it America!’”

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