Choose the Best that the West Offers

Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif is meeting with his inner circle of brother, the Punjab chief minister Shahbaz Sharif, state minister of information Maryam Aurangzeb, and hard-hitting designated spokesperson Daniyal Aziz before addressing a full cabinet meeting.

“We all know that it is often said that we should benefit from the good works of others, even if those people may be from western countries.

“Two days ago, someone, whom I met after a long time, told me about a great German information minister. I forget the name Google … or may be Gobhi … Oh no, not Gobhi. Remember as children we used to play alu, matar, gobhi/mein sahib tum dhobi … Daniyal you are half American, so I translate it for you, it says potatoes, peas and cauliflower/I am gentleman and you are washer man.

So this great minister, whatever his name … G …”

“You mean Goebbels, Mr. Prime Minister,” rendered Daniyal Aziz.

“You are right Daniyal. So this Mr. Goebbels said that if you repeat something so many times, it becomes like truth … a fact. This person was telling me that Mr. Goebbels was an expert and even today all the modern communications is based on this principle developed by him. Then this person gave me an example saying do I notice that why the companies keep repeating the same advertisement or commercial so many times.

“I told this person that I see your point and I will make good of use of Mr. Goebbels’ expertise. But he told me that Mr. Goebbels died in 1945 after being minister in Germany for more than 11 years. This is long time. Our Pervez Rashid was only minister of information for little more than three years.

“This is why I have called you before the full-cabinet meeting. Mariyam, you being our information minister you will arrange widest coverage of my speeches and my inaugurations and stone-laying ceremonies.

“I want to have as many as possible of such events all over Pakistan.

“We will assign each and every minister and advisor the task of arranging such events and all of them will coordinate through Maryam Aurangzeb to give me maximum coverage.

“In the cabinet meeting, I will speak first, and then Daniyal will give a speech showing my genius of using Mr. Goebbels’ technique. Then Maryum will speak and assure all the ministers the best services of her information ministry.

“Shahbaz Sahib, you not only make a speech but also read the famous poem that we Sharifs don’t accept anything… mein nahin manta…”

Daniyal Aziz offers his words, “Mr. Prime Minister not only it is a genius idea but also something that will destroy Imran Khan and his entire party in one blow.

“Mr. Prime Minister, you are the only third time Prime Minister of Pakistan, you should start this campaign at the mausoleum of the Father of the Nation, Mohammad Ali Jinnah, and not only lay the foundation stone of his mausoleum but also perform its inauguration before going to other projects.

“OK. OK. Some people like Imran Khan and his loudspeaker Shirin Mazari may shout that it was built in 1960. So what! But the third time Prime Minister of Pakistan Mian Mohammad Nawaz Sharif laid its foundation stone now!”

“God bless. Daniyal is such a great patriot. So in every speech and at every event, I will read the same speech that I, and everyone in our family know nothing about Panama. In fact, I will stress that how could I or any other family member know about Panama when we don’t even know how to spell the word Panama. I will assure them I, and my family members, do not hide anything from the public. I will tell the public that if this case was about pajama, despite the fact that I only wear shalwar, I and my family would have accepted it because we know how to spell pajama, and not just spell it we can also string a pajama too!

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