‘Abu ‘Ifanka hu fi Salihina

Prince Mohammad bin Salman Al Saud, the deputy crown prince, minister of defense, chief of the House of Saud royal court, and chairman of the Council for Economic and Development Affairs is meeting with his father, the Custodian of Two Holy Mosques His Majesty King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud and Prince Muhammad bin Nayef bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, First Deputy Prime Minister, the Minister of Interior, and chairman of the Council for Political and Security Affairs.

The king’s son, Prince Khalid bin Salman Al Saud, the Saudi ambassador to the U.S. is on line.

“O Father, we finally have a man in the White House, a man we can trust, a man like our Great Benefactor, Lawrence of Arabia, whom my grandfather trusted. But he is even a greater benefactor. Abu Ivanka, President Donald Trump has spoken again. He rejected his own Secretary of State Rex Tillerson who publicly said that the blockade, our land and air blockade, is hindering American military actions in the region and the campaign against ISIS.  Tillerson was repeating same soft line that we should ease our blockade of Qatar because it has “humanitarian consequences.

“O Father, and not even an hour later, President Donald Trump heavily criticized Qatar and called it ‘a funder of terrorism at a very high level’ and he stressed that nations had the choice of taking the ‘easy road’ or the “hard but necessary action.

“And, O Father, Abu Ivanka has taken the hard but necessary action.

“O Father, we all know that Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani in lying. What else proof does the world needs that just today, Iran has sent four cargo planes of food to him and plans to provide 100 tonnes of fruit and vegetable every day!

Astaghfir Allah, Shia food! May God save us from such calamity.

“O Father, I would say that you call Abu Ivanka and thank him, and then suggest that he borrow Boris Johnson from Theresa May as his Secretary of State.

“O Father, Boris is Foreign Secretary of England but he is also American born. You remember how he silenced Corbyn who was saying the England should stop selling us bombs and weapons for use in Yemen. Boris told him that the humanitarian threshold to stop arms supplies to us had not been reached. What a man! A true compatriot of our beloved Lawrence of Arabia!”

“But my son, I must say that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth is also to blame for this Qatari arrogance. I clearly remember that eight years ago, she hosted Tamim’s father, Hamad al-Thani like he was king of America. She took Abu Tamim with her in her royal carriage. She put him and his wife at the Windsor Caste. Even Abu-Tamin’s cousin, Hamad Bin Abdullah Al-Thani got seated with the Queen at Royal Ascot races in the parade ring before The Qipco Champion Stakes. I am told that the Qatari royal family sponsors Royal Ascot through their holding company Qipco – the Qatar Investment & Projects Development Holding Company.

“I know that Abu Ivanka is very clear in his thought. He clearly stated, ‘Do we take the easy road or do we finally take a hard but necessary action? We have to stop the funding of terrorism’.”

“Indeed, we owe lasting thanks to the British Royal family, but I need to tell Abu Ivanka that the Queen has a role in turning the heads of the Qataris. I am told that she not only accepted and invitation, but also attended a reception at the Dudley House, which is now owned by this Hamad Bin Abdullah, a cousin of Tamim, but also reportedly remarked that his place makes Buckingham Palace look rather dull. Astaghfir-Allah.

“Did Abu-Tamim or Tamim hold elections? Then why are they hosting the Brotherhood, the pests, who win elections … they won in Algeria, in Tunisia, in Egypt! I am sure that when they win in Qatar, Tamim’s eyes will open.”

“Yes. O Father. You are right. And Tamim forgets that it was his father who invited the United States to base 10,000 troops and ships at Al Udeid Air Base.

“Doesn’t Tamim remember that he hosts the largest U.S. military presence in the Middle East? And this Al Udeid is also a base for the United States Central Command, which is responsible for U.S. military operations from Egypt to Pakistan and north through Afghanistan all the way to the border with Russia.”

“You are exactly right my son. I tell you that Abu Ivanka does not need to send even soldier or a drone. Whenever he wants, he can send Tamim to never land. He forgets how his father went away silently.”

“Ha ha … we should ask Abu Ivanka to send Tamim to Disneyland!

“Father, I just got a brilliant idea. Just hear this.”

Prince Mohammad brings his iPhone near his father.

“Do you hear this, ‘Nationwide is on Your Side’?

“O Father, we should buy the Nationwide Insurance company’s slogan, ‘Nationwide is on Your Side’ ealaa alsaeid al-Nationwide hu ealaa aljanib alkhasi bik … and use it as ‘Donald Trump is on Our Side’ … in Arabic, it will be Abu Ivanka is on Our SideAbu ‘Ifanka hu fi Salihina’.”

“O my Dear Son …O my gem! This is simply fantastic. I wish that Umme Kulthum was alive today and we could have her sing Abu ‘Ifanka hu fi Salihina.

“For this, I would have wired 100 million riyal to my brother General El-Sisi right now!”

The present break into singing Abu ‘Ifanka hu fi Salihina.


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