Muslims — Squeeze them Even Harder

Uttar Pradesh chief minister Yogi Adityanath is presiding over a special meeting of a few of his cabinet members at his office in Lal Bahadur Shastri Bhawan in Lucknow. Present are Deputy Chief Minister and minister of Secondary and Higher Education Dinesh Sharma, Laxmi Narayan Chaudhary, Minister of Dairy Development, Religious works and culture, and Minority Welfare; SP Singh Baghel, Minister of Livestock, Minor Irrigation, and Fishery, Neelkanth Tiwari, Minister of Agriculture, and Ranvendra Pratap Singh, Minister of State for Agriculture.

Also present is Dr. Raj Kumar Singh, Director-and-Vice-Chancellor of the Indian Veterinary Research Institute

The chief minister starts the proceedings, declaring, “Ours is government of progress and unity, as we say sabka saath, sabka vikas — together with all, development for all.

“You know that enshrining the protection of our Gao Mata – our Revered Mother — has been a particular mission of mine. Since 1998, I have twice tabled a bill banning cow slaughter throughout our republic. Today that I am in position of authority, we are moving forward to do our best for our Gao Mata. One example is that I replaced all the leather furniture from my official residence. We will soon move a bill in the assembly to ban the use of leather.”

The Deputy Chief Minister Dinesh Sharma seeks permission and asks, “Even cricket balls?”

“Of course! Everything!

“But cricket, your honor!”

“My dear Dineshi ji, have you seen the game that the Americans call football? What material they are using for their game ball? Cows? Buffaloes? No. They are using pigskin. And if our country … our Indian Space Research Organization can successfully launch the most powerful and heaviest rocket that weighs as much as 200 elephants, why our Indian scientists cannot make a leather free cricket ball?”

“I agree. We have the greatest scientists, but there is the International Cricket Council which has some very exacting rules and regulations about cricket balls.”

“I have to say it again, my dear Dineshi ji, nothing is impossible for India. What is Council! They can’t even say uff before us. We and we alone have the market size! We all agree that Arundhati Roy is an enemy of India, but I have agree with her on what she said that the developed countries know that India is the great financial destination. As long as the market is open, we have the upper hand.

“We are not going against corporations. We are only applying the rules against slaughterhouse, and you know who runs these places! Muslims!

“Cow slaughter has been illegal in our state since 1955, but the Muslims are saying that they deal in buffalo.

“I am told that Ramesh Dixit, a political analyst and former professor of politics at Lucknow University, told Al Jazeera that the local [meat] trader is Muslim, and he’s being targeted. He said the target of my government is to push these Muslims out of business … That is why we want to victimize them, and terrorize them – in the name of cows.

“Exactly. But it is not enough. We have to follow the shining example of President Donald Trump who wants to completely cleanse America of Muslims. We have to make our Uttar Pradesh a Muslim-free state.

“We see it every day, and it is natural that even close cousins can be fair and dark. So aren’t these buffalos the cousins of our Sacred Mother, our Gao Mata?

“We have been elected on the promise sabka saath, sabka vikas — together with all, development for all. We can’t let the cousins of our Sacred Mother continue to be the victims of these Muslims. Like Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi, we are also dedicated to honor our Sacred Mother. He is a Gau bhakt — cow worshipper – and so are we. Our duty is gau rakshak — cow protection – and we will do our utmost to fulfill this obligation.

“I am told that the total value of buffalo meat exported from India has expanded by 27 percent, generating more than $4 billion last year. As much as 43 percent of that meat came from our state. Isn’t that shameful?

“And what is $4 billion for India. Only our scammers can bring that money and more to India. I am told that IRS scam in America brought $300 million to India. Mind you, just one scam. I will help these scammers and bring more money India than this buffalo meat export.

“Dr. Raj Kumar Singh, you are not only the director, but also the Vice-Chancellor of the Indian Veterinary Research Institute. I assign it to you to publish scientific papers about the close relationship between our Gao Mata and the buffalo. The buffalo is a just dark-skinned cousin who doesn’t prefer to use Fair & Lovely.

“Muslims should not be allowed to get away with any excuse!

“Dr. Raj Kumar, not only these papers will be published in India but also worldwide.

“It is the learned contributions of people like you who will help us make a success of our campaign: ‘Muslims — Squeeze them Even Harder’.

Jai Hind.”

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