Our True Savior

His Royal Majesty Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, the King of Saudi Arabia and Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques, has called a meeting at his Erga Palace in Riyadh, at the request of his son, Prince Mohammad bin Salman Al Saud, the deputy crown prince, minister of defense, chief of the House of Saud royal court, and chairman of the Council for Economic and Development Affairs.

The king’s sons, including Prince Mohammad, from his third wife Fahda bint Falah bin Sultan Al Hithalayn, Prince Turki, chairman of the Saudi Research and Marketing Group, Prince Nayif, Prince Bandar and Prince Rakan are in attendance.

Also, in attendance is his son, Sultan bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud the first member of a royal family to be an astronaut, and the first Arab and Muslim to fly in outer space.

The king’s son, Prince Khalid bin Salman Al Saud, the Saudi ambassador to the U.S. is on line.

Prince Mohammad has to report that a Saudi, Salem Amer Salem Al-Ayashi Al-Anzi, residing in the city of Arar has named his newborn daughter Ivanka — the name inspired from President Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka.

The name, Prince Mohammad informs, has been registered with the Health Ministry at the Women and Children Hospital in Arar. A picture of the birth certificate had been widely circulated on Whatsapp in the Kingdom.

Prince Mohammad gushes, “I have already instructed the General Administration of Civil Status in the Kingdom to include Ivanka as a permissible name for Saudi children.

“O revered father, my office has done research and they tell me that this name Ivanka is of Hebrew origin, and it’s meaning is “God is gracious.”

“O revered father, ‘ayuha al-ab, this man, the father of Ivanka, Abu-Ivanka, has done a fantastic job! Indeed, he should be recognized and honored for getting a daughter before the visit of our beloved friend, President Donald Trump.

“In fact, I have invited him to the palace to introduce our guest Abu-Ivanka to our own Abu-Ivanka.

“Salem Amer Salem Al-Ayashi Al-Anzi has not just brought our kingdom nearer and closer to Abu-Ivanka Trump but also to our friend Binyamin Netanyahu, by choosing a Hebrew name.

Addressing his half-brother, Prince Khalid in Washington, D.C., Prince Mohammad suggests that Abu-Ivanka Al-Anzi should be made First Secretary in the Royal Embassy there, “Our own Abu-Ivanka will be marvelous representative of our beloved Kingdom.”

The father interjects, “Insha Allah, our friend, Donald Trump’s visit to our kingdom will be most memorable. I have invited more than fifty Muslim world leaders to meet with him. I would say that it is a masterstroke of our foreign policy that we have all the Islamic heads of government meeting our beloved brother Donald under his and mine joint supervision.

“I am indeed gratified that our honorable guest has broken with tradition, where previous American Presidents have generally chosen a neighbor such as Canada or Mexico for their first presidential voyage, but Trump is visiting us first.
“He desires the best for us and wants to unite us. His address to Muslim leaders will center on his hopes for a peaceful vision of Islam.”
Prince Mohammad offers his view: “Indeed President Trump’s National Security Advisor General McMaster has stressed that the speech is intended to unite the broader Muslim world against common enemies of all civilization and to demonstrate America’s commitment to their Muslim partners.

“Our thinking runs parallel to our honored guest, President Trump. We have already established the Islamic Military Alliance to Fight Terrorism. Now General McMaster has also announced that President Trump will help open a center to de-radicalize extremists.
“When I visited him in Washington, D.C. March 14, we noted the ongoing security and military cooperation between our two countries in confronting Daesh/ISIS and other transnational terrorist organizations that pose a threat to all nations.

“Our honored guest, President Trump knows how enormous is the Houti challenge. He will not only accept our request to sell us $100 billion worth of weapons, but also offer us more.
“To further our case, I have asked our brother Adel Al Toraifi‎ to get his Ministry of Information to edit the Wikipedia page about Houtis to show what a horrific challenge they are. A gold-framed printout of that page will be presented to our honored guest. After that, I will request that our friend the United States of America sells us at least 100 of their GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast, which is known as the Mother of All Bombs.

“Our father will convey to our honorable guest that these bombs are needed to save lives. Indeed, our honorable guest will understand because the United States of America dropped atom bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to save lives.”

The king interjects, “Indeed, our honorable guest, Donald Trump is our true savior.

“My son, I am proud of you. This is why I appointed you as the deputy crown prince, the minister of defense, chief of the House of Saud royal court, and chairman of the Council for Economic and Development Affairs.”

“Thank you my father.

“By the way, everyone, I have to point out to our honored and respected guest, President Trump and I have much in common. He has orange hair, and I have studied at Syracuse University, where we call ourselves Orangemen!”

The king intervenes, “But my dear son, there is nothing orange about you.”

“No my father by Orangemen, we mean orange as in the fruit, which we call burtughal in our language.”

Everyone chimes in unison: Masha Allah as a fresh round of qahwa is served.

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