Oh, I See

The Organization of Islamic Conference (OIC) secretary-general Dr. Yusuf Ahmad Al-Othaimeen is addressing a press meeting, punching the air, he declares, “There should be a peaceful resolution of the decades-old Kashmir dispute.”

He forcefully added the Kashmir issue has been at the top of OIC’s agenda since it’s founding in 1969.

He almost whispers that the OIC has to respect certain emotions such as the deeply fraternal relations between the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and India, especially in commercial interests.

Responding to a question he said that India had denied a request from the OIC’s Independent Permanent Human Rights Commission to visit Indian-held Kashmir in order to assess the situation there.

“But we should keep the pressure on [the Indian government up] every time the occasion arises,” he said, adding that OIC desired a peaceful resolution of the Kashmir issue.

Notwithstanding such little hiccups, India, Dr. Othaimeen said, is most caring toward the Arab world.

“Imagine, they are putting all the Arabic writing on their movies! One cannot imagine the sacrifice … Bollywood is India’s pride … and despite this they put Arabic writing on the screen, although sometime it may interfere with the film’s objective of highlighting certain body parts.

“Who on earth, will sacrifice their own inner artistic demands to please the Arab people?

“You know, you cannot satisfy everyone on this earth. I have yet to see anyone appreciating that our OIC has an Independent Permanent Human Rights Commission. I can ask our human resources department to inform the public that how many people are enjoying salaries and perks solely due to our Independent Permanent Human Rights Commission.

“The UN has its United Nation Human Rights Council. Indeed, it is a great inspiration for us. The Council’s 47-seat membership is drawn from all its 193 member states in accordance with a geographical distribution weighted in favor of Asia and Africa.

“So you have it, the UN HRC has only 47 members out the UN’s total membership of 193.

“Before you go criticizing, our OIC human rights organization, we too focus on issuing statements on select areas. I can assure you that all these statements are diligently filed and stored in termite-free temperature controlled vaults.

“Does everyone have to talk about everything in the world? No!

“The UN formed its human rights body in 1946, and reformulated it in 2006.

“Indeed, I am inspired. We too need a fresh start. We will reestablish our human rights commission. We start with a fresh plate. The past is past!

“It is well-known that 56 of 57 OIC members are also member states of the United Nations. They are all well versed in the working of international bodies.

“Do we ever ask the UNHRC that why it is silent on Palestine? Why is it silent on Kashmir … and indeed on London itself!

“I need not remind you that every summer our young people … our Arab youth … go through the tedium of taking their fancy cars to drive in London, and their human rights are violated when they are given parking citations. Isn’t it their right to park anywhere they fancy! And the UNHRC is silent.

“It is really painful that Shahbab-al Arabi … the Arab youth are daily subjected to the tedium of rubbishing the parking citations posted on their windshields … they call them windscreen in London … and they insist on calling them windscreen because they say what is different if they did invent cars but they invented the English language.

“At the OIC we do not believe in washing the dirty laundry of our Arab brothers in public… Bahrain, Yemen, Qatar …

“The United States of America and the United Kingdom, I mean the United Kingdom ruled by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, do not consider that our brothers in Saudi Arabia and in Bahrain have crossed the human rights threshold and continue to sell them any weapons of choice. So who are we to bring up these nonexistent issues: human rights and arms trade cannot be linked. No Sir! Is there any bar on buying guns on the premises that some animals are being shot out of existence?

“In fact, what is the issue with human rights? In the Quran, in Surah al-Anam (6:2), God is telling us, ‘He it is created you from clay, and then decreed a stated term (for you). And there is in His presence another determined term; yet ye doubt within yourselves!’

“So no one will cease to exist unless He decrees it.

“Yes, from to time, it is reported to me that certain snide remarks are passed about OIC.

“Let me assure you that at OIC with don’t sit idle and smoke the sheesha all day!

“We have a very busy schedule. We have 57 members and each of them has a head of state, and to each, we send a birthday card and gifts. And you cannot send a Hallmark card to a head of state!

“I can give you a few examples. Now, King Salman’s birthday will be on December 31. In reality when he is celebrating his birthday, in some countries people are celebrating the New Year. So it is the sagacity of our staff that the king’s birthday card and gift are delivered to him before anyone celebrates their birthday.

“It doesn’t end here. The Emir of Abu Dhabi is Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan celebrates his birthday on January 25.

“King Abdullah of Jordan has his birthday on January 30.

“The Emir of Dubai Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum has his birthday on July 15.

“I can list you all the 57 birthdays, but we are not lazing here.

“Indeed, I would like the member states to respect the feelings of our Gulf and other Arab states, including Jordan that we mark August 16 as a special day – the birthday of the great Arab leader, our beloved father, TE Lawrence.

“I am sure that if he descends on earth, Seyyedna Lawrence would exclaim ‘Oh, I see!’”

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