Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif’s guest is Najam Sethi, chairman of the executive committee of the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB), and chairman of the Pakistan Super League. Present in the meeting are Maryam Aurangzeb, the Minister of State for Information and Broadcasting, Saba Mohsin Raza, the federal Information Secretary, and Atta-ul Haq Qasmi, Chairman of the Pakistan Television Corporation.
“My dear, respected and valued Najam Sethi Sahib, it was really masterful move on your part to remove Imran Khan from PCB documentary for the World Cup Silver Jubilee.
“Immediately when I saw it, I said, ‘Allahu Akbar, we have true patriots like Najam Sethi with us. No one can defeat us. No can put an evil eye on us.’
“You know, I wanted to send you flowers, but then I said that instead of flowers I should invite you and request you to do some great projects for the glory of our beloved country.”
Maryam Aurangzeb, never the one to let her boss down, chimes, “Mian Sahib, you always choose the best.
“Imran Khan is boasting about his team selection skills, but you are the GENIUS.
“Pakistan is blessed to have a Prime Minister of your pristine qualities!”
“Thank you, Maryam Sahiba, but the real genius is our dear, respected and valued Najam Sethi Sahib!
“Always Imran is saying ‘World Cup’, and ‘Shaukat Khanam Hospital’ two times and now he will be saying it three times with the Karachi hospital too.
“Our beloved Sethi Sahib, has surely silenced Imran Khan. He has put an end to this World Cup nonsense.
“Maryam Sahiba, you are too young, But our dear Sethi Sahib knows that I played first class cricket. I was in the Pakistan Railways team. But I never boasted. I know the on-line record says that I scored only one first class run, but that is my humility.
“I did not want people to say that I am putting up big records because my father can afford it.
“Even Imran Khan has accepted that I faced his bowling… and that too when he was at the peak of his career and note that was without wearing a helmet! Cricket is not a game of soft people!
“Sethi Sahib, you can understand that why I have called Maryam Sahiba, Saba Sahiba, and Atta-ul Haq Qasmi Sahib to this meeting.
“I have a special project for you. You know that in August last year, the Lahore High Court suspended construction on this very important project.
“Now, this is wrong. What heritage! What heritage … nonsense, when people of Lahore, the people of Pakistan cannot see the genius of Nawaz Sharif, the third time Prime Minister of Pakistan.
“My dear respected Sethi Sahib, you know that every project that Nawaz Sharif does is of great importance for the people of Pakistan…
“Now that we are in the fourth month of 2017, and elections are in 2018. Therefore, I must do the opening … ribbon cutting of the Orange Line.
“In fact, I have to ask you to do two projects. Just like you made the documentary of the World Cup without Imran Khan, first I want you to make a documentary that Chaurburji has no place in the heritage of Lahore, and indeed of Pakistan. Didn’t I say that before too that all those who want to see four pillars, they can go to Hydrabad in India and see their Char Minar building.
“The second project is that I want you to make a documentary that I am performing the open ceremony of the Orange Line … ribbon-cutting, cutting the feeta!”
Saba Mohsin Raza gets in a word, “But Sir, the high court has suspended construction.”
“Oh, no problem, Sethi Sahib is genius, he can do my ribbon-cutting film.
“Maryam Sahiba, Saba Sahiba and Qasimi Sahib will provide all the facilities to Sethi Sahib for these projects.
“In fact, all of you people are here, I am thinking that we should have a flag, red line, green line, blue line, orange line … Sometime they show pictures of some demonstration or some event in foreign countries and there they are showing a flag with different colors lines … I heard that it is called the rainbow flag. Yes, it belongs to Nawaz Sharif, builder of all these lines!”
Saba Mohsin Raza gets in another word, ”But Sir, that flag is associated with gays.”
“Gays? So what is wrong in happiness?”
“Sir, ahem … in many countries homosexuals are called gays,” informed Saba Mohsin Raza.
“Let it be. You and Maryam Sahiba are too young. But ask Sethi Sahib. In the 1950s, Pakistan team had a batsman, Maqsood Ahmad. As long as he was batting, Omar Kureshi used to keep shouting, ‘Merry Mac is batting with gay abandon!’ …
“Sethi Sahib, did you ever hear that Maqsood was homosexual?
“Even then what is the problem with similarity! I have been told that the flags of 18 countries are closely similar.
“OK, if you are concerned, we can put my photo on the top right hand corner of this flag.”