This is Nawaz Sharif’s Mouth-Breaking Reply, Oye Imran Khan!

Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has summoned his close circle of advisors to strategize on the 2018 elections.
The Prime Minister is seated at the head of conference table in the Prime Minsters Secretariat, nursing his glass of lassi as his inner circle troops in: Punjab Chief Minister and younger brother Shahbaz Sharif, followed by father-in-law of Nawaz Sharif’s daughter Asma Nawaz, and Finance Minister Ishaq Dar, First Daughter Maryam Nawaz Safdar … err Maryam Nawaz, Minister of State for Information Maryam Aurangzeb, Pakistan Muslim League (N) Secretary General Danyal Aziz, Punjab Law Minister Rana Sanaullah Khan, Defense Minister Khawaja Asif and Railways Minister Khawaja Saad Rafique. Also present is Saira Afzal Tarar, the Minister of State For National Health Services.
The Prime Minister is in a somber mood. He takes a big gulp of lassi and starts, “Orange Line, Green Line, Blue Line … and still Imran Khan talking of his cancer hospitals!
“OK. OK. OK. Nawaz Sharif will give a Mouth-Breaking Reply, Oye Imran Khan!”
Danyal Aziz and Saad Rafique, ever vigilant to massage their boss’ ego, chime in, “Yes, Prime Minister Sahib … cancer hospitals in Lahore, Peshawar, and now Karachi. Imran Khan is only a cricketer! What! He has only won one World Cup, while our beloved Prime Minister has built so many Orange, Green and Blue Lines … Masha Allah
“Cancer hospitals in Lahore, Peshawar, and Karachi will soon lose their shine Sir… too much usage Sir,” they guffaw.
“Exactly… exactly … my dears … this is why I am the Prime Minister for the third time and Imran Khan is still talking about his World Cup!
The Prime Minister takes another big gulp, ringing for another glass of lassi, this time fortified with khoya.
“Didn’t I say that Nawaz Sharif will give a Mouth-Breaking Reply, Oye Imran Khan!”
The fresh glass of lassi arrives on his desk, he lifts it, and thunders, “We will build the Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza! Yes ji! Hunza!
“Dar Sahib, you should immediately fly to Washington, D.C. and ask the World Bank for a loan of $100 million for building the Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza.
“I am assigning you, our dear respected leaders, Maryam Aurangzeb, Danyal Aziz, Rana Sanaullah Khan, Khawaja Asif and Saad Rafique to be on every TV channel in Pakistan every day and talk non-stop about the Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza!
“It is a double-edged sword! On the one hand, it will shut the mouth of Imran Khan and on the other hand, when our Dar Sahib goes to the World Bank, he can present all these recordings where our dear and respected leaders are talking about our Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza! Yes, our $100 million wonder of the world!
“Come on, now Imran Khan where is your bouncer to this mouth-breaking reply from three times Prime Minister of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan!
“All of you are smart people. I need not explain to you why I am choosing Hunza.
“You know all the foreign people are visiting Hunza. All the time, they are making TV documentaries, films and writing articles that Hunza people never get sick, they don’t get cancer and live up to 120 years!”
The Prime Minister launches another big laugh: “These white people are very simple minded. Yes, I have heard that even there is name Simpleton among white people! Indeed, it comes from simple! Just like Washington is coming from washing!
“Once the hospital … I mean my mouth-breaking reply to Imran Khan, the great and magnificent Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza is built, our dear Maryam Aurangzeb, Danyal Aziz, Rana Sanaullah Khan, Khawaja Asif and Saad Rafique will arrange tours of World Bank people, the UN people, the WHO people … in fact, I will personally invite President Donald Trump and Prime Minister Theresa May … and His Majesty King Salman, the Servant of the Two Holy Mosques, and why not, Her Majesty the Queen and Prince Philips to visit the great and magnificent Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza.
“We have to correct the misconception among white people that the Hunza people never get sick, they don’t get cancer and live up to 120 years only because they are eating apricots!
Hainji. No. The real reason that Hunza people never get sick, they don’t get cancer and live up to 120 years because they don’t want to get admitted to the great and magnificent Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza!
“I real admire the genius of our Pakistani people! Masha Allah.
“Did you see how the lady Syeda Ghulam Fatima, General Secretary of Bonded Labor Liberation Front Pakistan from Lahore … she is taking $2.3 million from 78,000 American people to build a relief center in our blessed Raiwind for brick kiln workers. Yes, Rupees 246,114,000. Masha Allah … and the building is only an incomplete structure on 4 marla plot! The relief center exists only in photographs and on paper.
“If she comes to me, I can tell her how to open off-shore accounts and shell companies.”
Dar interjects, “I think that she must be smart enough to have set up a shell company overseas.”
The Prime Minister signals for another glass of lassi, and continues, “Dar Sahib, will get that $100 million loan, and in fact, our respected Saira Afzal Tarar, our Minister of State For National Health Services should arrange a trip along with Dar Sahib to get $100 to $200 million grant or loan from WHO … they are the health people. Am I right?
“Dar Sahib, I authorize you to pledge the Orange Line against both these loans.
“And my dearest daughter Maryam, you go to London and from there to Panama to arrange the transfer of these funds to Husain Nawaz account.
“Now no one is telling me that the World Bank will say that the Orange Line of Lahore is not built as yet. But they know it well that the three times Prime Minister of Pakistan Nawaz Sharif will get all projects completed before the 2018 elections! Full Stop. I think that they are calling it Period in American English.”
Maryam Aurangzeb speaks up, “Indeed, this one great mouth-breaking reply to Imran Khan … in fact, the Information Ministry … I mean, we will float international tenders tomorrow to get documentaries produced correcting the misperceptions about that the Hunza people never get sick, they don’t get cancer and live up to 120 years only because they are eating apricots!
“Yes, Sir. Prime Minister Sahib, the people of Hunza are not contacting cancer because of the great and magnificent Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza!
Rana Sanaullah, never to lose out, “I have another great idea. We can sneak in photographers in the cancer hospitals of Imran Khan, and use these photos with a little help of Photoshop to show how great and magnificent is our Nawaz Sharif-Maryam Nawaz Cancer Hospital in Hunza!”
The Prime Minister getting up from his chair, signaling the end of the meeting roars with laughter, “This is the real mouth-breaking reply, Dear Mr. Imran Khan, this is a real unplayable bouncer in your mouth ji!!!”

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