Not the English Team Sir

Nigel Paul Farage, who recently retired as leader of the UK Independence Party, announced that he is back into the stirrup. At least temporarily, he seemed to indicate.

He has done being moved by a calamity, a national disgrace he said. Indeed, a national disgrace when four out of 11 men who will wear the English colors on the 2016 Bangladesh tour are not real British!

He fumed that despite a Kenyan heading the American government, at least a real American, Phelps, carried their flag at the Rio Olympics. And it was “England” taking a team to its earliest colony in the Indian subcontinent, Bangladesh, with not one but four Muslims. Four, he frothed: Moin, Rashid, Hameed, and Zafar!

It is the United Kingdom ruled by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, as German as the family may be, but it is the England cricket team.

He tore up the sports page of The Telegraph angrily asking that did the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) mixed it up. About having “targets” in the English team? He screamed demanding that someone tell the ECB Chairman Giles Clarke that only South Africa requires a minimum of six black cricketers be included in their national team.

An angry Farage hissed if ECB is seeking security with Muslims on its roster, why not Giles go to East London, to Tower Hamlets and just load up with a bunch of Bangladeshis for his tour.

This is a racial quota, he declared calling the National Front’s David MacDonald. Farage assured him that although his successor at the party’s helm, Diane James had upon being elected proclaimed “I’m NOT Nigel”, but he will surely ask her to protest to ECB.

Drawing MacDonald’s attention, he said that they should not forget the pain that Hashim Amla’s selection had caused to Castle Lager. Imagine, Farage said, one of the oldest commercial breweries in South Africa being forced to remove their logo from Amla’s kit. And then came Imran Tahir. And oh yes, Wayne Parnell too.

Farage tut-tutted that it was unfair to Castle Beer paying for 11 jerseys and getting their logo only on nine.

He reminisced with MacDonald that opening the Protea’s batting in the final ODI against New Zealand in 2012, were Amla and Parnell – both without the Castle Lager logos.

Farage, voicing his concern, said imagine if Guinness comes up with a better sponsorship offer than Waitrose, the ECB can’t take it because FOUR MUSLIMS will refuse to wear their shirt.

“I am sure that like Obama, Corbyn is a Muslim, and he wont say a word about it. Guinness is Britain itself! Yes, right now, Guinness is not pursuing ECB but what when they come calling, the England team will have left with only a token real British.

“A Pakistan mayor in London and now four Muslims in our cricket team! Oh Britannia in what manner you rule the waves,” Farage nearly exploded.

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