It’s All in a Name

Journalist Eric Zemmour, who discovered that Rachida Dati, Keeper of the Seals – justice minister — of France (2007–09) under President Nicholas Sarkozy had named her daughter Zohra, appeared on French television channel LCI on September 12 demanding the return of a law restricting the names children are given.

The law was abolished in 1993, 200 years after having been established by Napoleon Bonaparte.

He was still unhappy. He said that it was unpatriotic because the girl’s name did not come from an official list of French Christian names.

He has no hope in the National Front president Marine Le Pen whom he considers not far enough to the right.

Zemmour thanks the day that football legend Zinedine Zidane retired. His name too was not French, but given what he did for French football, he could accept it a bit, while it was really not acceptable, Zidane could classified as quasi-French or “less French” than himself.

It is anomaly for Zemmour that little Zohra’s legally accepted father is casino-mogul Dominique Desseigne, the chief executive of Groupe Lucien Barrière. For him, it is a great shame that a Christian’s daughter bears a Muslim name.

He was still simmering in rage, when he met with Sheikh Fulan al-Fulan, a Middle Eastern intelligence operative who was trying to draft him for founding and running the anti-Iran thank tank, the Iranienne Français Union Progressiste (French Iranian Progressive Union) backed by Gulf Arab financing.

When Zemmour related his Dati dilemma, al-Fulan put him in a greater spin. He told him that not just Zohra but Rachida was also an Arabic name. And also Barack Husain is an Arabic and Muslim name.

It seemed that al-Fulan was out of luck when he told Zemmour that Muslim have names like ‘Isa (Jesus) and Musa (Moses).

A visibly distressed Zemmour who was eagerly expecting the Arab largesse, could not control himself. He declared, “I don’t care what the Jews do about Moses but I will not let the Muslims steal the name of the Son, our Lord, Jesus!”

He continued to fume, “This Clooney guy was a decent actor but then he goes Muslim and married a woman called Amal. France should ban all Clooney movies.”

Al-Fulan tried to correct him that Amal Alamuddin, the Lebanese-British lawyer, activist, and author, was not a Muslim but a Druze, he got more upset.

“Monsieur Sheikh, I know Muslims better than you do. They come in all colors, Druze and what not. I have read it myself. Terresa Monroe-Hamilton published her piece on Right Wing News that Amal is a Lebanese Muslim. She rightly said, ‘Clooney [by marrying a Muslim] is basically giving America the middle finger and trying to shame us into opening our doors to the Hijrah migration and hastening national suicide like Merkel is doing in Germany’.

“See in New Zealand, you can’t name your child ‘Messiah’, and here you tell me that there may be Muslims, in France, Muslims in France naming their child after our Lord!”

Zemmour, who had crossed himself twice, crossing himself the third time, and asked “Monsieur Sheikh when do you transfer the funds for the Iranienne Français Union Progressiste? I assure you Monsieur Sheikh we will not hire even a single Muslim. And Iranians are Muslims.”

Al-Fulan interjected, “Monsieur Zemmour, you do need to hire some Iranians to do their language. And don’t worry about our money going to Muslims. The grand mufti of Saudi Arabia, Abdul Aziz Al Sheikh has ruled that Iranians are not Muslims but like Zoroastrians, the religion that worships fire.”

A flustered Zemmour asked, “But Monsieur Sheikh, I hear that some Iranians have names like Zohra and Husain, like the Husain in that Muslim Barack Obama’s name.”

Al-Fulan assured him that doesn’t matter because the grand mufti is always right.

“Monsieur Sheikh, but keep in mind that it’s all in a name!”

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