Thankless Youngsters

Pakistan’s ex-president Asif Zardari was busy updating his Swiss and other offshore bank accounts from his Dubai palace, when a newsflash from Pakistan caught his attention.

Reading the first few lines obliged him to ring for his double scotch. What is the world coming to, he shrieked to himself! This kid, this boy, this Canadian citizen, we elevated him to chief ministership of our private domain, I mean Sind and he had the temerity to appointment own cabinet!

Why upon earth such a thing could happen. There is Faryal Talpur kindly babysitting my Bilawal, and still this Murad Ali Shah. I mean this former WAPDA employee had the temerity to appoint his choice of ministers.

It is a direct affront to the Bhutto-Zardari House! Does he believe that by simply showing respect to our Great Leaders Beyond Eternity Shaheed Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and Shaheed BB, he could get away with anything? Doesn’t he know that simply laying wreaths on the graves of our blessed martyrs, you don’t become leader, neither a de facto and nor a de jure head of government? Yes, he took his entire his cabinet with him to the mausoleum of our Blessed Shaheeds. What cabinet!

Yes, I appreciate whatever little things anyone does. He is rightly moving about with a protocol comprising 32 vehicles. He is not giving wrong ideas to the public about doing away with our VIP rights. And he should never forget that Bilawal gets protocol of 64 vehicles at least: he is the grandson of our Great and Blessed Leaders, the Ever-Living Shaheed Bhutto, son of our Everlasting Shaheed BB, and son of the Greatest Living Leader of Pakistan and the unrivaled political mind of Pakistan, Asif Ali Zardari.

Who was Murad Ali trying to impress? Imran Khan? by declaring he would shun protocol?

What gal has Murad Ali by appointing his own cabinet? This is Sind! This is Pakistan! This is not Canada! Let me shove it into ears and brain that this is not Canada!

I mean doesn’t he know that he may be a Stanford graduate but Asif Ali Zardari has a degree from the London School of Education! Now where is Stanford, Shanford and then there is the London School of Education.

Murad Ali needs proper education. Murad Ali has to learn proper manners.

And there are no excuses. He has the shining example of our Sayin Qaim Ali Shah, who despite being reminded of seniority, never moved even a pencil without the approval of Faryal, Bilawal and of course me.

How did have have the gall to select his own team? This is another disease spread by Imran Khan, always boasting that he had a say in team selection. Murad Ali needs to know that this is government and not cricket.

Murad Ali doesn’t need to answer any questions because Asif Ali never asks questions. He just needs to be properly reminded that his job is only hear and obey Faryal, Bilawal, and me.

What made him think that he could take decisions like dropping Nasir Hussain Shah, Ali Nawaz Shah and Manzoor Wasaan?

Probably he learned such garbage in Stanford.

He needs to given a copy of the history of our Blessed Great Leader about how Shaheed Ever Living Bhutto drilled discipline into his cabinet.

No. I don’t need the Rangers to do this job. I don’t need to. Faryal is there. Truly, Faryal too floundered. She should have kept her high heel shoe in her hand when informing Murad Ali that he has to become chief minister.

Oh God, who told me to replace our beloved Sayin Qaim Ali Shah!

No. Here is another thing that I disagree with Imran Khan who keeps saying that teams don’t need coaches. Our Sayin Qaim Ali Shah is the perfect coach for chief ministers.

Zardari reaches for the phone and brings Qaim Ali Shah, Faryal Talpur and Bilawal on the conference call: “Sayin, you are now the Chief Ministers Head Coach Till Eternity. Sayin teach them how to be obedient to the heirs of our Beloved Leaders, Qaid-e-Awam Ever Living Shaheed Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and our Beloved Shaheed Benazir Bhutto. Your office is the Governor’s House because that MQM thing Ishrat-ul-Ibad Khan may be calling himself governor or anything, he is being sent to the servant’s quarters. He knows how to obey. Altaf Husain will learn it from media reports.

Jeeay Bhutto. Jeeay BB.”

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