Is PIA Public Transportation?

In such times, Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif calls his younger brother, Shahbaz Sharif, who holds the strategic “throne of Lahore.”

A slightly flustered Prime Minister makes this call before he can think of his morning glass of lassi.

In the age of Google, surely one can find more studies than one that say that the consumption of yogurt heightens your mental abilities. Forget the studies and experts, you have it from the third time Prime Minister of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan that the brains only starts functioning after a tumbler of lassi.

Tardy as his mind could be without the intake of his most favorite beverage, the Prime Minister complained to his little brother:

Shahbaz Sahib, what is the problem? What is wrong with our people? You can never satisfy them!

You see that they made all this noise about PIA that made us postpone the privatization plans until mid-2016.

Wait a second. The Prime Minister is heard calling for his assistant, Ghulam Husain, get my lassi and add a double khoya. I really do need the energy, especially with these thankless folks trying to find faults in everything we do.

Yes, I was saying that our Pervaiz Rashid Sahib is wonderful. I am sure that he does his lassi with triple khoya! He was already the Minister of Information, Broadcasting and National Heritage, when I asked, and he agreed to hold the additional charges of for Law, Justice and Human Rights. Shahbaz Sahib, you know that Law Ministry is not like Information Ministry where you can say anything.

Now he tells me that with the PIA issue there are “legal obstacles in finalizing the transaction structure.”

What? One person is selling, the other person is buying, so where are so-called structure issues. They need tissues for their tears. He he he

You tell me how many Pakistanis can afford to fly by PIA? Just an estimate! Even, I see that Imran Khan cannot afford to fly business class. The other day, I saw a photo of his flying to India, sitting near the tail in economy class. He he he … and he wants to become Prime Minister of Pakistan! Where is the taste for high posts, may I ask, my brother?

Like a parrot they are saying privatization, privatization … am I privatizing the government fleet? He he he … imagine sitting in a commercial flight next to Khair Din and his huqqa! Ha ha ha.

Where do they think we get money for the Metro Bus, Orange Line, Entertainment Park … will their uncle give the funds? Just think. Do they think that only building all this enough? Money is needed to run these things. They should be happy with things that make the common people happy. He he he … NO! This can’t happen with them.

What Nawaz Sharif is doing, giving the people transport they can use, not like PIA that only the rich can fly.

So where is the money? Really, geniuses work at the IMF. They told me that you have so many corporations that you can keep selling them and taking loans for anything you want. That is a wonderful idea, so we took $6.7 billion loan and we pay off by selling PIA.

We have lots more to offer! Power corporations and steel mills. And why not the Customs Department that gets so much money when things are exported or imported.

Shahbaz Sahib, you know well that this useless talk about privatization has been going on since 2014.

We are not selling PIA to some shoddy discount airlines, Fly 1786 or something. They buyer is UAE. They have a fine Al-Etihad airlines. Yes, some people will fly because they can afford it. So with El-Etihad, at least they will fly in good atmosphere!

Hasan and Hussain who watch football told me that the City of Manchester stadium has been named Al-Etihad Stadium. They were telling me that it was a big transaction. So I mean why all the noise when we have a world class buyer for PIA. Just tell me, my brother!

Yes, Shahbaz Sahib, remind me to hold back a few corporations so we can sell them when we launch new development projects before the next elections!

Bhaijan, certainly, we can put in a few overpasses and underpasses in the constituencies where Imran Khan and Shaikh Rasheed are presently holding seats.

Oh, I love my brother. May God bless you.

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