Democracy is Dumb

The former prime minister of Stephen Harper, who moved back to Calgary, Alberta, after his 2015 election defeat, is often seen at the Tim Horton’s on Collegiate Boulevard.

He has already collected his order when in walks his friend, the portly Skimp Veathervaneshipp, chairman of the board of the SV Minerals Group.

Skimp was a welcome presence at 44 Suffolk. Minerals!

Stephen doesn’t believe that the environment needs protections. The environment should be taking care of itself. Naturally, the Canadian Foundation for Climate and Atmospheric Sciences was defunded in March 2010.

Mr. Prime Minister, imagine we at Horton’s, he declares with a guffaw.

And Skimp you know why I would not be seen at places like the Rouge or La Chaumiere.

Indeed I do. What are friends for?

A minute later, Skimp too collects his order, a double of Hot Breakfast Sandwiches.

Ha ha ha … Stephen you need at least two to start a conversation.

I mean democracy is so dumb. When Canada needs a strong man, they send a flower child to Ottawa.

Did you see the socks he wore to the Malta meeting? I guess he picked that pair from some tourist kiosk in the area.

You know how I was going to make Canada benefit from the Americans’ love for guns! I had proposed funding advertising campaigns to attract American tourists to Canada to hunt, fish or snowmobile and creating a program that improves habitats for species harvested by hunters and trappers.

Skimp, ah, at least that would have kept some American guns away from people. Ha ha ha.

Ah, the Bush Blair partnership. And of course, the Bush Harper!

Despite the communist at the helm of Labour, Cameron got his way and started the bombing campaign right away.

Skimp, my entire air force and navy would have been right there helping Cameron and Hollande fight those Muslims … you call them ISIS or whatever. Muslims they are!

And now with President Trump’s presidency just around the corner, what a beautiful Trump-Harper partnership it would have been.

If I did so, I know Canada would be safe. We all know who that guy in the White House really is, but even he would not invade Canada.

Skimp did you see the flower boy cavorting with those refugees at Toronto Airport?

Yes, I did. But my dear, Stephen this kid is buying the next election. You know I serve on the advisory board of Foodzees who want to start marketing in Ontario and their marketing guys keep coming back to them that they go halal. Imagine, asking Chit of all people. Chit Hackguard go halal. His research people told him that Ontario contains 61% of the entire Muslim population. And with the refugees he is stuffing there, Ontario will be perpetually young Trudeau’s stomping ground. At least, till one of the refugees goes sour!

But Skimp, till then you are the sacrificial lamb. Justin is raising taxes on the top 1 percent of earners while lowering middle-class taxes, even as his government funds infrastructure improvements. He knows that we would run a deficit, which is unusual when are known for fiscal probity, but Justin believed that it is the way forward. Hitch up your pants, Skipp. Be ready to the fund the middle-class!

Will these airport images die? No my dear Stephen. Come next election, Muslims will be standing this deep voting for your kiddo.

Skimp, my foreign policy is the heartbeat of President Trump’s policy … all this Obama nonsense of an Iran nuclear treaty and Israeli-Palestinian relations.

And Justin doesn’t seem likely to participate in airstrikes against ISIS. So here is flower boy on one side and the entire Western world on the other side. God help Canada!

Ha ha ha … Skimp! He is saving all the jet fuel to fly in more Syrian refugees.

That’s a good Stephen!

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