A Win-Win Business Proposition

 

Sunil, introduced to the world as Sunil Abhijit had added Ajitaabh as his family name. He had many explanations, each of them convincing of himself. He would reel out the various meanings of Ajitaab, especially one who has conquered the sky, and whose luster can’t be diminished. The real motive, however, was to present a business card that looked ‘impressive’.

Sunil, ever longing for the once-in-a-lifetime lottery-like breakthrough was full of ideas, which landed in a heap. His latest and failed venture was an app that would exclusively connect female and male users of Fair & Lovely ® skin lightening cream under the full moon. Frustratingly for him, the app would also connect to users of other brands, and angry mail piled up seeking refund of their purchase price. He had advertised a liberal refund policy.

Today’s call was to Shadiram Haldimul Spinwala, whom he had known for quite sometime as an established finance middleman in Mumbai.

Sunil, being Sunil, never wasted time, whenever and wherever an idea popped up, it had to be sold right away. And he was on the phone with Seth Spinwala. After all, one has to pamper the financiers, so the Seth as he addressed him. He said that he had often heard from him that all the bankers in Mumbai were in his left pocket, so he wanted his help to finance his sure-winner business venture.

Sunil asked Spinwala if he had heard the Congress leader Shashi Tharoor’s Lok Sabha speech where he had said that a “cow is safer in India than a Muslim.”

An excited Sunil, declares that Tharoor’s ‘revelation’ is the break that he has always dreamed off.

He impeaches Spinwala, “Imagine 180 million Muslims, with an average growth rate of nearly 25 percent. I am saying 180 million!”

Sunil Abhijit Ajitaabh has the great dream of suiting up those 180 million and growing in cow suits! Yes, Be Alive in a Sunil Cow Suit! is his advertising jingle. Of course, he would exploit his first name, Sunil that he shares with Sunil Gavasker, a legendary Indian cricket star. Sunil is living in the shadow of gods.

Seth Spinwala, the moment I get the financiers’ letters, I am off to China and Korea to get the cow suits! No Sir! Yes, I support our Prime Minister’s Make in India campaign, and I will do it but our country doesn’t have the capacity to clothe the 180 million and growing. And don’t forget, the ladies … they can’t be caught dead wearing the same cow suit everyday. No my dear Seth Spinwala!

“I have quite an inroad with Shiv Sena and that should keep the Respect Our Sacred Mother campaign in full glory! The more the love for our Sacred Mother, the more Sunil Cow Suits in demand. Indeed a blessing from the gods!

“In fact, since I have heard the Zuckerberg announcement, I have been working on the proposal for the Respect Our Sacred Mother Foundation. You remember how fondly he embraced our Modiji! Yes, he has his eye on the Indian market and the Foundation will have his blessings! He has $45 billion to give away! American Dollars. Yes!

Sunil Cow Suits will become the main sponsor of the annual Gopashtama festival — the honors our Sacred Mother.

“We will also gift giving campaigns such as “Save a Friend, Gift a Sunil Cow Suit Today!

“More than often, I think that the election of Modiji was a gift of gods specifically for your humble friend, Sunil Abhijit Ajitaabh. So Seth Spinwala get your spin going and get the money flowing. Cow suits are the future my friend! This is India.

“Of course, the first suit off the production line will be presented to Tharoorji. He is now among the hunted!

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