A Seriously Dangerous Development

 

Between Friends

Nawaz Bhai, Salam, this is your brother Asif from Dubai. I hope that I am not calling you too early. We can talk while your enjoy your lassi.

You know that last night, I was on the Internet that my attention was caught or rather captured by this news from Malawi. The Telegraph newspaper of London – no, it is not a tabloid but a full-fledged newspaper — reports that Joyce Banda, Malawi’s new president, has announced that the presidential jet and fleet of 60 Mercedes limousines would be sold as an example to other African leaders.

Nawaz Bhai, what example for African leaders. Such news is unsafe for all of us my dear Brother! I wish that today Bibi was alive. She would have talked woman to woman to this nut from Malawi.

Yes, Asif Sahib, you are right. Nut is the right and only word for her. I mean why do we become leaders? Tell me! To fly in coach class. Coach class, especially when our aircraft are full of labor going to Gulf countries. Most of them are not properly bathed, especially with no water or power available in Pakistan. Imagine flying with smelly folks!

Nawaz Bhai just imagine the state of mind of this Joyce. She is worried that the prime ministerial jet had annual running costs of £220,000. It is less than quarter million and she is acting as if its £22 million!

Yes, Asif Sahib, exactly this is why I have ordered that all expenses should be reported in British Pound Sterling only. Imagine, if it was reported that the running cost was 198990726 Malawian Kwacha, or 34862530 Pakistani rupees. I mean imagine. People would be protesting in the streets. And our friend Imran standing atop some truck making noise about the waste of public funds.

My dear Asif Sahib, I must say Malwai’s President Bingu wa Mutharika is my kind of person. Always ready to spend on road construction. I hear that in 2010, he spent £2 million to build new roads to travel in comfort to his second wedding. So! After his wedding the road was closed? No, people are using it even today. And my dear Brother Asif you know that under our trickle down economics plan how many people have benefitted from such expenditures.

Asif Sahib, let us pray for the full recovery of enlightened people like Bingu wa, who you know had a heart attack which gave the opening to Joyce to create this nonsense.

Nawaz Bhai now you are in government, and I am sure if I were in government when such a situation has arisen, both of us would have done the same, imposed a complete blackout of news from Malawi. Ha ha ha, how many even educated people in Pakistan know that there is a country called Malawi. Malawai Shalawi! At least our family of politicians is safe on that account.

But Asif Bhai, this Imran Khan is trouble. He has played and lived in London for so long that someone or the other will update him on Joyce’s action, and he will start giving to the people of Pakistan the utterly awful example of this Joyce woman.

Nawaz Bhai, I think you should immediately call an all parties conference on the issue of focusing on proposed Pakistan-India cricket series. You have Sethi Sahib with you. Just let him loose with the news. Let there be no let in cricket news that Imran Khan can’t get a word out on Joyce’s ill-advised action. Imagine, asking leaders to give up private jets and Mercedes cars! Blasphemy is the only word that comes to my mind!

You are right Asif Sahib. Indeed it is like shirk, associating political leadership with common people, like mixing olive oil with dirty water. So wrong. Very wrong.

Thank you Asif Bhai for updating me. I am immediately asking our Pervez Rasheed Sahib to get his Ministry of Information on this task. And I am getting Sethi Sahib to start with his work.

May God bless you. Yes, I know you are blessed with a great political mind.

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