The Donald has invited a select group of journalists to the Trump Tower for what he calls a heart to heart talk.
“Hi! So everyone has his coffee served.” He adds with a wink, “Anyone needs anything stiffer?”
The Donald gives a summary of the purpose of calling these people to his office.
“You know guys before you start ticking out your thesauruses, I want to remind you that I was born speaking English.
“Now don’t start saying thing like ‘flustered’ and all that. I am not a bit worried by the noises I hear from some of the losers around. I know for sure that I am the only one qualified to march ahead with our GOP standard in 2016. But even then, it is nice to spend time with you guys now and then.
“I get pissed off when I see some guys have not stopped talking about my statement that I saw Muslims celebrating 9/11. But it is a sure fact that Muslims were celebrating in September. My research department just informed me that Muslims had a holiday on September 24 this year, called Eid al Adha or something. Things like these really piss me off. This is America! Can’t they find American names for their holidays! Eid al Adha! That is three different Arabic or something words!
“Here it is that I saw them celebrating in September! And I wouldn’t go to Montana to see them celebrating but right here in my own neighborhood.
“And of all people George Stephanopoulos accusing me of ‘misspeaking’ … I can expect Chris Christie dissing me because he needs voters in New Jersey. But George!
“I mean do really, really all these reviewers read all these books before writing their reviews? Do really, really all these food critics eat all these foods before writing their review! Come on! I bet they are too inebriated even before first bite to know the difference between pork chops and whatever tuna.
“Does one have to read the Quran to say that all these terrorist teachings come from that book? One can look at the book and weigh things. After all it is not in English but I believe in Arabic or some Middle East language. So now we have to know the names of all these Middle Eastern languages too.
“And why the ruckus over my asking them to wear some easily identifying mark on them? Especially, when some blacks, and even whites I hear, have become Muslims. So how do we know the good guys from the bad guys?
“And now a minute. I needn’t remind you that I am the only one who deserves to be our GOP standard-bearer in 2016. But I am also taking note of the flack our Dr. Ben Carson is getting over his politically correct talk about Muslims. I mean let the guy talk. He is a neurosurgeon. He knows minds!
“What I want to get straight to is that why poets and politicians are treated differently? I mean the first two letters, the ‘p’ and the ‘o’ are common to both words. With poets, you folks are ready to let anything pass as ‘poetic justice’ … I mean a poet is writing about meeting his date for lunch at the coffee shop at our Tower. So he writes, staring in bright July sunshine. Bright July sunshine in New York City that he is seeing a moon and seeing his girl in that moon! Yes, moon. And you guys don’t even wink because you call it poetic justice! But here someone like me or even Carson, says anything about Muslims. Ohhhhh … Isn’t there anything like ‘political justice’? Do I have to be exact about September celebrations? I said that I saw Muslims celebrating in September. Case closed!”