The Real Heroes

 

Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif walks into his office, feeling a certain joy in the air, when he glances at the television screen, where the news ticker reads: Former President Zardari and Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) co-chairman Asif Ali Zardari was acquitted by a National Accountability Bureau court in the SGS-Cotecna references against him on Nov. 24 [2015].

He runs his palm over his head and mutters SGS-Cotecna to himself … aha, the case that pertained to the award of pre-shipment contracts in which Asif Zardari had allegedly received six percent kickback. He says under his breath, “six percent”! … I knew it was wrong, my brother Asif only starts with 10 percent on any project… why would he degrade himself with six percent! And he had come out untouched from the polo ground corruption reference, the Ursus tractors and import of gold corruption cases too.

“I am sure that the late Mohtarma, his beloved wife must be smiling in her heavenly abode. She was a great judge of people. She knew that her Asif knew how to draw cash.

“They are Real Heroes!”

The joi de vivre is so overwhelming that he overlooks the bell and instead calls out for his secretary, Fawad Hasan Fawad.

“Fawad Sahib, do you see the ticker on TV. Please rush a 5-kilo box of luddos and halva pirhi to my brother Asif Zardari, even if you need to fly it by charter! He has made all politicians proud today!”

With the underling out of earshot, the Prime Minister restarts talking to himself. And ha ha, our dear departed Makhdoom Sahib, Makhdoom Amin Fahim. What non-baliable warrant! Makhdoom Sahib never let anyone touch his penny. He took it all with him. I always had great respect for his honorable man of Sindh.

“Now our dear departed Makhdoom Sahib had my dear Yousuf Raza Gilani were charged with multi-billion-rupee scandal in the Trade Development Authority (TDAP). Rupees! Nothing in British Pound Sterling! Which fool keeps his money in Pakistan?

The Federal Investigation Agency was alleging their involvement in approving and disbursing fraudulent trade subsidies to several fake companies through fictitious claims and backdated checks. Ha ha … but a check is check! And what are all thee offshore companies! So what is wrong in that?”

He chuckles to himself again, “What do the people think that we spend so much in elections instead of doing our business? We need to compensate ourselves. This is not America where a retired politician can charge $100,000 or $200,000 for making a 15-minute speech. In Pakistan, we have to make our own living.

“And it is all due to the Imran Khan that the National Accountability Bureau had to start investigations against us Sharif brothers in a $32 million money laundering scandal.

“What is money laundering? Money is made from paper and not some washable material. All these ‘money laundering’ stories are figments imagination spurned by troublemakers like Imran. What do you launder where is nothing to launder!

“I mean do you become Prime Minister when you can’t do small favors to your businesses?

“Yes, right. In June 2011, a division bench of the Lahore High Court rightly barred the Federal Board of Revenue from recovering “Special Excise Duty” from our of three sugar mills.

“Indeed, our party has majority in the assembly, I should make all such income a legal part of our earned income.”

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