Ink is Money

Gobhiram Bhindichand, chairman of the Bhindichand Foods, LLC., summoned his board of directors for an urgent meeting. He had important news to transmit that the Bhindicand enterprise was urgently entering the ink making business.

He had the plan ready to roll, all organized into a PowerPoint presentation. He had already received the numbers from the chief account of Bhindichand.

“The developments of the past week have really emboldened me to enter our company into a new field.

“Ink making.

“I see ink making as the future of profit making in India.

“This statement from Khurshid Mahmud Kasuri on October 19 that only Modiji can send back the ‘Jinn of Hindutva’ in the bottle he brought it out from, is most encouraging.

“What does this Kasuri think about our beloved leader, our Netaji?

“Modiji is heart of India, and India is Hindu. What bottle? We will not stand by any other system. Period. Our Netaji is gaining more popularity in India and all the foreigners love him too. Silicon Valley was worshipping him! And see Nawaz Sharif came, Obama gave him a lecture and sent him out. And see when Modiji came, what great reception was held.

“Last week’s inking of Sudheendra Kulkarni, chairman of the Observer Research Foundation, really encouraged me to immediately go after the ink business.

“Our ideology is Hindutva and whoever tries to defile, gets the Kilkarni treatment. Indeed we will be using Kulkarni’s black in our advertising.

“Such misguided persons needed their faces blackened.”

As Gobhiram Bhindichand unfurled his PowerPoint presentation, he rolled out the profit numbers.

“Yes, there is some ink industry but we will be first organized ink industry. We will promote our products full force. I am already talking to the Shiv Sena that all their members will get 10% discount upon presentation of their membership card. It will be mutual beneficial: if you want 10% discount on Bhindichand Ink join Shiv Sena! And our advertising agency has proposed a few slogans and I am partial to this one: “Bhindichand Ink Really Blackens the Muslim Appeasers”

“It is matter of pride that proud India blackened the face of Engineer Rashid, a Muslim member of the Jammu & Kashmir assembly. Jai Hind!

“Was it really the Shiv Sena or some liberal version of it that just shouted “Shahryar Khan waapis jao (Shahryar Khan, Go Back)” to scare the Pakistanis? They should have inked Wankhede stadium black. They should have blackened Shashank Manohar’s face for inviting a Muslim.

“The demand for ink will continue to rise. Our Modiji, our beloved leader, is the heart and voice of Hindutva. He will never allow the dilution of our national purpose!

“A few days ago, we saw another mild Shiv Sena effort. Instead of letting him come and blackening faces, they scared Ghulam Ali to cancel hi ghazal concert. This is not enough! We need strong action. Let these Pakistani idiots come to India and send them back with faces blackened with Bhindichand Black Ink.

“India must use its clout that the International Cricket Council uses its head. Why did they take off umpire Aleem Dar for officiating in ODI matches in the India-South Africa series in India? They should have let him and our Shiv Sena would have done its job.

“Aleem Dar escaped, but there are Amla and Imran Tahir to be dealt with! Isn’t this Imran Tahir really a Pakistani?

“I would prefer that before chopping them up, blacken the faces of those who eat the meat of our Sacred Mother.

“I am confident of our success. Cases of Bhinichand Black Ink will be flying off the shelves the moment we deliver! We have our marketing plan ready and as soon as our factory starts, our advertising campaign will launch in Maharashtra. We rule it and we will honor it by launching our distribution there.

“I have already started talks with some film producers to incorporate inking scenes in their films. Just imagine! Bhindichand Black Ink will rule!

“Indeed, we are honored to have launched a milestone product, Bhindichand Black Ink, the preferred weapon of Shiv Sena.

“I am in touch with the Prime Minister’s Secretariat and the first case that comes off our production line will be presented to Modiji. He too gets Muslim visitors!

“Bhindichand Black Ink will ensure that no Muslim remains without a black face and no Muslim leaves India without a black face.

“Jai Hind.”

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